Why I started a Blog

So What, I’m going to become a Rapid Transformational Therapist, why should you care or even read this, it’s not even like I’m fully qualified yet?

I have learnt not only how my mind works, but how YOUR Mind works. I have created this blog to share with you a few of the lessons I have learnt along the way.

I have completed and passed all my written and theory learning and am at present working towards my practical assessment. This puts me in the position that I have gained an amazing wealth of topics with no one to share that with. I want to start helping you today with issues such as:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Sleep problems / Insomnia
  • Weight Management
  • Performance blocks

To be honest, over the coming weeks and months I aim to cover a wealth of topics to enrich your life and help you overcome the obstacles holding you back, and when I qualify you will be in the best place to hear the good news and take advantage of some amazing offers.


Related Post

3 easy tricks to survive your children this summer3 easy tricks to survive your children this summer

You’re hot, You have a million and one things to do between the home, work and trying to entertain the small demons you created that are running round demanding everything, and if you hear “mum” one more time you might just literally explode – but you wont because you know it will still be your job to clean all the ‘you’ off the walls.

I’ve been there, I felt my children were driving me crazy, I was drowning under the constant tide of washing, cleaning and trips to the potty and I couldn’t cope. All these phrases and images were coming out of my mouth and poisoning my mind.

Our minds are so clever and able to do the most amazing things, but they are also undiscerning and pretty gullible. Our mind absorbs and takes in everything we tell it, even when it’s completely absurd.

Photo by Andreas on Pexels.com

Every time I referred to my children as demon spawn, my mind believed it and soon a trepidation took shape that made me feel low at the idea of spending the day with them. Every time I said I was drowning under all my home, parenting and work responsibilities my mind let it in. Every time I told it I was being driven crazy, that I couldn’t cope, that I was useless, my brain believed me and soon I was having physical symptoms. I had panic attacks and felt snappy and at the point I sought help, I thought I might genuinely be crazy – because that’s the appropriate response to the extreme images I was creating in my mind and I had told myself I wasn’t equipped to deal with it.

And the best part, my children are not awful. Not in slightest. My home is not dirty and my work gets done – eventually. All I wanted was to spend time with them, have a picnic or go on a day out but these things all felt impossible to me.

Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com

That was the first thing that needed to change. Being a lover of language, creative writing and all things literature. I had to do something that felt very unnatural. I needed to stop using such negative and emotive language. I needed to stop exaggerating the negative and start telling my brain some useful stuff. – Number 1. Ditch the negative self talk. Your children aren’t demons, hell spawn or anything else you call them. They are your children. You love them. You couldn’t imagine life without them, even if they are challenging at times. Of course you can cope, your success rate for coping to date is 100%, that is amazing. You have phenominal coping skills.

Number 2 – “Will you put your shoes on”, “We need to go, put your shoes on”, “No they are on the wrong feet”, “Where is your other shoe”, “JUST GET YOUR DARN SHOES ON RIGHT NOW!!!!”

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

We get angry, we tell ourselves they are making us angry. But are they? Are they not just being mostly age appropriate children thinking it’s funny getting a reaction out of you, daydreaming and wondering what your 3rd favourite Octonaught is. I was making myself angry all those times. I was letting myself get worked up. So I changed tactics, “What are you going to put on first, your shoes or your coat?” usually works but on the days when he is really in daydream land “We are leaving at this time, if you don’t have your shoes on, you will have to walk to the car in bare feet”, is better. I say it once and the responsibility is with him to put them on or not and he will face the consequence. I only had to say it once, I didn’t get mad and luckily he had his shoes on before I had his little sister in the car.

Setting expectations like this and making sure I followed through was key. Some days it was hard, I was tired or foggy and would forget if I had already given a warning and so they would get two or three warnings and I would feel myself getting tense (notice I didn’t say feel my blood boiling, ha-ha). And sometimes even now, I still shout but it’s so occasionally and I know I’m still doing a phenominal job. I do actually have amazing coping skills.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Finally, make time for them. Book the day out, even if you don’t feel like it. Go for the picnic or the nature walk or have the water fight. I can hear you screaming at me, “when Mel, when do I do that between the cooking, the cleaning and the laundry”. I know you think, I would if I could. But you can. It sounds counter-intuitive I know, but spending time with your children makes more time, and everyone is happier. So you spend half an hour in the garden playing with your children. You come in to get the washing on, and you put it on. You don’t need to fix a snack, answer 20 strange questions or tell them to stop fighting because they are happy and have had attention from you. You start to cook dinner and you are left alone to cook it in peace, and you all have lovely things to say about your day around the dinner table. The house isn’t wrecked because they burnt their energy in the garden so you only had to sweep the floor once. Making time for your children, makes time for you.

Putting these steps into practice, you’ll not just get to survive the 6 week break, but you and your children will get to enjoy it and you might even find a new level of confidence and gratitude from the spectacular way you cope with the challenge of parenting for years to come.

If all else fails, remember that one day they will be potty trained, they will be riding their bikes out with friends and you might even miss the constant screams of “MUM” – until then there is wine.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com


Just be yourself…Just be yourself…

Has anyone ever said that to you, you’re anxious about an interview or a first date. “Just be Yourself”, but what do you do when you have no idea who that person is?

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

I am a daughter, I know that my behaviour reflects on all the people who raised me and am ever conscious of how I reflect on them. I haven’t always been, and I have seen the hurt and damage that caused and it is now an integral part of me to see myself as an extension of my parents and guardians.

I am a wife, and again am aware of how my behaviour makes my wonderful husband feel. I know that I have the power to lift his spirits as well as remove any and all motivation. I know that he is a grown adult with the same power over his own mind and I am not the only factor, but wanting to be a helpful and supportive wife, I am always thinking of his feelings, wants and needs.

I am a mother, a role-model for my children. Do I always get it right? Not a chance, but I am always trying and always mindful of the power I have in shaping who they are as people. The beliefs they form about themselves and the world around is directly impacted by the words and images I feed their plasticine minds with.

I find social situations very awkward, but I have my ritual of putting on my make-up and I naturally morph into the version of me that is outgoing, positive and ready to face any challenge. I am sociable, but I have learnt to be by building a rapport with those around me. I’m a listener and people find it easy to be around me, shine the spotlight on me however and I stutter, and have no idea what to say. the idea of “just being myself” is so alien to me. I don’t always know what song to put on, or what movie to watch and can spend an hour flicking through Netflix without watching anything and then turning it off because I’m bored.

I used to have no idea who I am, but although I still struggle with these things while I’m finding out the small stuff, through a lot of self reflection and through discovering hypnotherapy I know myself, and I love who I am. I know my values; I know my beliefs and although I still find I am happy to go with the flow on movies and music, my values are never compromised!

There comes a time when we all lose ourselves in the labels we have, be it son or daughter, husband or wife, parent, entrepreneur however we start to define ourselves, we play the parts we know until those parts become our own. It can be so difficult to sift through the sand to to reach the diamonds of who we are and if I could have had RTT to find out who I am 10 years ago, I would have in a heartbeat. Those situations when the only advice my friends could give me is to “just be myself” no longer fill me with fear, because I know exactly who I am and I am good enough!

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

If this resonates with you and you would like to know more about how you can get to know yourself, book a FREE 30 minute call where I can help you peel back those layers and find you.


selective focus photography of ace of spade playing card

The Transformative Power of an ACE in Understanding and Overcoming Unresolved Childhood TraumaThe Transformative Power of an ACE in Understanding and Overcoming Unresolved Childhood Trauma

I mentioned on TikTok this week about ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences – not cards), impact on your life and a fellow friend of mine who works with Trauma through a different methodology told me she had never heard of it, so I thought if she hasn’t heard of this – maybe you haven’t either?

Our beliefs about who we are, the world and how those pieces fit together are formed throughout our early childhood. For some, this could mean that they fell into a pond when they were little and now they don’t like being near open water, for some this could mean a strong association between feeling loved and the smell of freshly baked cupcakes.

For others though, it could mean they learnt that no one was interested in what they had to say. It could mean they learnt that they were only worth something when they were winning. or worse still, that they didn’t deserve love and happiness.

That is where ACE’s come in. The Adverse Childhood Experience Assessment was developed in the 80’s by Dr. Vincent Felitti in his Obesity Clinic. He came up with a hypothesis that the problems some of his clients had with food, was actually a coping mechanism for trauma. Since then it has been further developed and even more poor outcomes in later life have been linked to having 1 or more of these experiences, with the more experiences being linked to worse outcomes in life.

It has been discovered that ACE’s can have a profound effect on a persons physical and mental health throughout their life, including;

  • Heart health problems, such as coronary heart disease.
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • PTSD
  • Phobias
  • Alcohol abuse
  • Drug abuse
  • Eating Disorders, such as over or under eating
  • Developmental Disruption – presenting very similarly to ASD / ADHD / ADD
  • Increase risk of Auto-immune disease
  • Liver Disease
  • Cancer
  • Lower income
  • Lower education level
  • Problems forming relationships
  • and many others

I have spent more than half my life knowing I was different, growing up most of my friends were much older than me, I didn’t have a lot in common with my peers. I thought I had a form of undiagnosed ASD because I ticked so many of the boxes, even while doing my hypnotherapy training this was never explained to me in detail. It wasn’t until I started learning more about treating Trauma and delving into a specific trauma awareness course kindly held by the Arizona Trauma Institute that I even started hearing about this. Thankfully I am now and people are becoming more aware of how brain development and physical health, not just mental health, is affected by the experiences we go through in our formative years.

I will be sharing the ACE assessment in my newsletter this week, if you are interested or it could benefit someone you know, don’t miss out and sign up now!

I would love to meet you and hear more about your experiences with trauma in a supportive and kind space. For more tips and info from me, please join me over on Facebook.