For the last year we have spent almost every waking moment together. Every evening we eat together, put our children to bed together and sit on the sofa together. With Valentines Day approaching fast, I have been racking my brain to find ways to make the evening special, when all of the usual ways we would celebrate are not available to us.
Even if you have not been able to be with your partner during lockdown, and are facing a Valentines spent on webchat, please read on as these ideas are perfect for you too.
I have spent hours, pawing over Pinterest, looking at recipes and Etsy shops only to realise that with us both home 23 hours a day that I was going to have to up my game, at the same time feeling stressed, exhausted and having nothing to wear! I know I’m not alone in this situation, so I have created this Lockdown Valentines List to make your night wonderful and a little out of the ordinary ‘Netflix and Chill’ but as easy as possible.
MAKE YOUR PARTNER A CARD. I cannot stress enough how important this is. I don’t care if you think you can’t draw or you suck at art, and neither does your partner. It is all about time and effort to make something small for the person you love.
If you still find this a scary concept or have no idea where to start, I have found so many ideas perfect for everyone, from novices through to the craftiest of us. You can see all my card making pins here.
Since Lockdown, you haven’t been able to purchase a new pair of shoes or bike part without your partner knowing everything about it, the idea of not just buying but wrapping a gift for my husband is sending me into a spin. This year, we have decided to get a joint gift.
Of course, the most important gift we can give each other is our time, so put down the devices (unless you are communicating on them) and give your partner the very best of you.
It’s all in the preparation
Have a long shower or a bath, make sure you are feeling your best. Get dressed up as if you were going out together and make the effort. Even though you may not be going much further than the dining room, getting dressed up tells your mind it is going to be a special evening and you are more naturally inclined to behave as though you are on a date.
Rather than eating with the family (5pm and a battle over vegetables in our home), Order takeaway or an oven-ready meal for yourselves. You have just cooked and washed up after your tiny humans, the last thing you want is to have to do that again, not to mention that you don’t want to spend your date in the kitchen.
Yes, a wonderful meal was important in 2019, but half the country can’t even taste their food right now; spend the evening together.
You can make it special by laying a table cloth, serving the meal on plates (even if it’s McDonalds). And if you are doing this via webchat, order your meals ahead for the same time and find a restaurant background for your chat. Source pictures from your favourite restaurants website or you could set out an indoor picnic or day at a theme park.
The most important thing is, unless you require your technology to communicate at this time, everything should be put down. COMMUNICATE and BE PRESENT with your partner, even if you do nothing else in this list, be together, not just inhabit the same space.
Take these ideas as far as you feel comfortable with and remember the most important thing is you are making time to communicate with your partner and mindfully be with them.
I’m almost certain over the last few months, you have watched every movie there is together so please don’t spend yet another night on the sofa, at least, not in front of a film.
If you are spending your Valentines date on webchat, then my favourite idea is to check out some of the games available either through your webchat provider, or via a third party such as JackBox. Or, if you both have a copy of the same game in the cupboard, why not go old school and play a board game together while you talk?
If you are together, then all the better. Get out the board games and find something to play together to keep you talking. Remember NO PHONES.
Implement some forfeits into your game to bring you closer together, think ideas such as truth or dare, losing items of clothing or revealing a kinky fantasy.
If you can’t meet in person, then I’m sure you have already found some creative ways to feel connected. There are also some toys you can play with over the internet so you and your partner can have the control to each others sensations.
Massage oils are relatively easy to come by on line, this one is my favourite, but you can find what works for you.
There are loads of tutorials on YouTube, pick one that resonates with you and remember to have fun.
If you don’t feel very confident, even with no experience, just lightly gliding your hands over your partners body will bring you closer together and feel amazing. Remember this isn’t a serious, solemn experience, talk and laugh with your partner while your touch them….A word of warning though about getting carried away – switch to a good water based lubricant before moving anywhere sensitive.
Talking of anywhere sensitive, if the plan is to get carried away, why not try something more mindful than your usual play time.
Lingham massage – How to Give an Out-Of-This-World Lingam Massage (beducated.com)
Some of these ideas may not be new to you, some of them may even seem a little shocking, but being in love is about having fun. That is if you have been together a few months, or married for years. Make Valentines 2021 about fun and togetherness and that feeling will stay with you, and help carry you both into the spring with smiles on your faces.