What are you thankful for

Today, right now what are you thankful for?

Sometimes it can be so easy to say, nothing. Everything in life is going rubbish right now and I have nothing to be thankful for.

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As I said, that’s the easy path, it is easy to feel sorry for ourselves and embrace sadness when we feel blue. It’s almost a default when a few things go wrong to see everything as going wrong.

That is more often than not a self-fulfilling prophesy. The barista spills your coffee, then on your way out of the coffee shop someone mumbles a rude comment about you under their breath. You get to work and your colleagues all seem to be avoiding you and you have an awful day. But why is that?

Picture that scenario again, how are you behaving. The barista spills your coffee, you look annoyed and feel pissed off. You are thinking about that as you walk out the door, forgetting to hold it open for the next person as you usually would so they grumble about how rude you are. Your bad mood is written all over your face so your colleagues give you a wide birth. At each stage, if you had broken the cycle of forgetting to be grateful and allowing yourself to be a slave to your emotions the outcome could have changed.

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It is not always easy to see but their is always something to be thankful for. Whether that be that you internet to read my humble blog, a dry place to sleep or a hot cup of coffee enjoyed in quiet.

Our minds are amazing and we can control our emotions. By being grateful for the small things in our lives as well as the big, we are telling our mind to focus on the positives. When we stop telling ourselves that these events are terrible things that made our day awful, we can recognise them for the small inconveniences they are and be grateful for so much more.

If the person in my story was grateful that no one was burnt when the coffee spilled – they would have noticed the other person near the door and held it open. If they were grateful that when they stepped outside the sun was shining, they would have been happier at work.

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No one has the power to make you unhappy, only you can do that – and that is something to be thankful for.


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The Guilt PandemicThe Guilt Pandemic

We all know that feeling of guilt, when you start to feel guilty for being happy. I have found myself thinking “I shouldn’t be this happy” or “Why am I so lucky?” It’s a syndrome many people are familiar with. But what if there was a cure? What if it wasn’t your fault?

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Studies show that millennials are more prone to the Guilt Pandemic than other generations. It is because we grow up in an environment filled with messages about how much better everything else could be and how wrong it feels to enjoy ourselves while others suffer. We’re constantly reminded of our privilege, told not to take anything for granted, and made aware of every single thing that should make us feel bad instead of focusing on what we have.

Some guilt is good, it keeps us functioning as active members of society, it acts as a driving force to help us make better choices. You feel guilty for letting your friends down so you don’t. A charity advert with a starving child could make you feel guilty if you haven’t donated to charity in a while. This level of guilt is a normal and healthy response.

Increasingly however, we are experiencing disproportionate amounts of guilt for things we have no control over. We can find ourselves feeling guilty for the books and music we loved growing up, the disgraced stars we looked up to – even though we had no way of knowing what they were doing behind closed doors. Feelings of guilt have been found in people because they were born into a white, middle class family. Guilt because they are men. Guilt because someone else treated them differently. Guilt over the environment.

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Healthy guilt, that is directly linked to our actions causes us to change our behaviour and do better next time. This unhealthy guilt mentioned above, cannot be mitigated in the same way, I can’t do anything about being a white, cis gendered female for example. This kind of guilt can manifest itself in your life. It can grow and cause anxiety and depression. It can hold you back subconsciously from getting a better job or buying something you have worked hard for and becomes a toxic force.

We are not our ancestors. I did not take part in slavery, I was not a supporter of the crusades, I did not sexually abuse someone just because I liked a book where, hundreds of years after the authors death, I found out he probably did and I don’t need to feel guilt or shame because of it.

I recycle, I donate to charity, I use a green energy provider and walk wherever possible.

I treat people equally and fairly, I abide by not only the laws of the land I reside in, but also my own and society’s code of ethics and I believe that most people who feel this unrealistic, exacerbated guilt do too (I believe this of most people to be honest, regardless of how guilty they feel). I feel shame when I think about the atrocities humanity has committed before and during my time, but it was not in my name, it was not me and I do not feel guilt and you don’t have to either.

Let’s face it, we all feel guilty from time to time. What type do you experience most often? And why? We would love your feedback on this topic!


Watch Julie Elves and I Discuss how you can improve your self talk todayWatch Julie Elves and I Discuss how you can improve your self talk today

for more interviews like this with Julie, join her over at her Facebook group UNLEASH YOUR LIONESS – Be a Fearless, Strong and Confident Woman! | Facebook


5 foods to eat to become a happier, more energetic you5 foods to eat to become a happier, more energetic you

Do you ever get that feeling in the afternoon that you are just done for the day. You have no energy and feel tired. You get snappy at family, friends and colleagues and you have that “snickers moment”. If like me, you had a vending machine at work you may have even gotten a snickers or other sweet as a pick me up.

Eating sugary sweets and treats is the worst thing we could do for our bodies in this moment. There is more about this here if you would like to know why, but I am going to share with you my top 5 things you should be eating to prevent these periods of tired grouchiness all together.

Fatty Fish

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Omega 3 is one of the very few supplements you can take where the effects are as good as the real thing, but if you are leaving out fatty fish and only taking Omega 3 supplements, you are missing out on some amazing health benefits of this super-protein.

One serving of Tuna or Salmon will provide your whole RDI (recommended daily intake) of vitamin B12. This little guy works with folate to help iron work better in your body by increasing the amount of red blood cells you have. Having the right levels of iron and oxygen in your blood (carried by red blood cells) can increase your energy levels and make it easier for your muscles and organs to work.


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Eggs are an amazingly filling protein. Unlike carbohydrates such as starch and sugar, protein doesn’t give your body a spike in energy and then leave you like a bad date at 3pm. It steadily fuels your body, always there for you with no abandonment.

Unlike other sources of protein though, eggs are amazing as they contain something amazing, Leucine.

Leucine is an amino acid which speeds up the body’s ability to build muscle and increases the breakdown of fat to release more energy. The high number of B vitamins in eggs work with the Leucine to become an incredible fat busting team. Great for our waists, but also for our energy levels!

Dark Chocolate

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This is my top 5 and it wouldn’t be mine if it didn’t have chocolate on the list. I am not talking about a snickers bar here though. I am talking dark chocolate, at least 70% cocoa solids but the closer your taste buds and budget can get to the least processed, Cacao nibs the better.

As well as being packed full of anti-oxidants, it actually helps oxygen travel round your body. That means chocolate helps the oxygen in your blood get to your brain (so you have more mental clarity) and muscles so you have more energy, and can help prevent your getting ‘a stitch’ during exercise.

Dark chocolate is also a stimulant, boosting our energy levels and mood with theobromine and caffeine.


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They are not just for millennials (and my 4 year old), Avocados are an amazingly versatile and delicious food.

As well as being scrummy, they are considered a superfood because of how rich they are in healthy fats, fibre and those amazing B vitamins again.

The healthy fats in avocado can not only be stored in the body to be used as fuel, but they also help the body absorb nutrients from the other foods we eat, enhancing their positive effects on our mood and energy levels.

About 80% of the carbs in avocado come from it’s fibre content. There is a lot of research on the effect our gut health has on our mood and energy levels and fibre is great for keeping the cogs turning so to speak. But fibre’s other superpower is it’s ability to help sustain our energy tank.

Get Some Nuts

I couldn’t resist that title, but by far my superstar energy and mood foods are nuts.

Again in this post I go into the specific benefits of walnuts but all nuts contain an insane amount of protein and healthy fats, but they also contain some amazing nutrients in the form of B vitamins, iron, vitamin E and manganese. These little legends help keep us alert and send our energy production skyrocketing.

So next time you feel the need to reach for a snickers, GET SOME NUTS

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