Combating First Day nerves

My son is starting school, he is brave and confident and can’t wait to make new friends and to be honest, so am I.

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on

But I wasn’t always this way.

For me the first day of school was always thoughts of, “will they like me this year?”, “have I got the right bag?”, “are they going to make fun of my hair this year?” All these questions went through my head and I was so worried that I wouldn’t be liked.

I never was in all honesty – I was always weird and always bullied for it and only ever had a few close friends.

Photo by Bruno Bueno on

I reinvented myself again and again. I changed my hair, I changed my style but I was always me. A little autistic, more baggage than an airline carrier and an adult, cynical way of looking at the world – just because I changed the packaging didn’t make me less me inside and that was someone who didn’t fit in.

It wasn’t until I changed as a person that I stopped being “weird” and embraced being UNIQUE.

Actual picture of me – being UNIQUE

None of us are the same, except for one fear – the fear that we won’t be accepted.

Our tribal ancestors had to work together to survive and if they were ostracised from the group, they would be alone, with no shelter and no food and no way to live.

We are still tribal people, but we don’t need to rely on the people physically closest to us anymore to fill that void. Your tribe can be anywhere in the world, any group of people from any location, speaking almost any language. Thanks to the internet our world is larger than it’s ever been – so what if one person doesn’t like you (I guarantee at least one person doesn’t like you)? They aren’t your people, but you do have people and they are out there.

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny on

I did change who I am, I embraced my uniqueness and learnt to love myself. I changed the cynical, negative outlook to one of gratitude and kindness. I stopped looking at peoples failings – including my own, and started celebrating all our achievements. I no longer worry about being a certain way or a certain person, I am me and being myself means that those who do resonate with me and like me, really like me.

Will I be standing at the school gate hoping to make some mum friends and that people will like me? Of course I will, but it hasn’t consumed my thoughts for the past week, it doesn’t worry me that they might not – but it would be nice.

Loving yourself can be the hardest thing to do, we are so used to being our harshest critic, but until you can truly love yourself you will always hold a little of yourself back from others. They can sense that you aren’t being your true self, whether you believe that’s the energy you give off, or the subtle body language and tone used, people can pick up that you are not being yourself, and no one wants a friend that isn’t themselves around them.

Photo by Belle Co on


2 thought on “Combating First Day nerves”

  1. I think the difference between being weird and being unique is how we interpret ourselves and how we wish for others to see us.. I used to think I was weird before too, but that’s because ppl made me feel weird… Now I see myself as unique.. And that’s a good thing 🙂

Comments are closed.

Related Post

Why you need a purpose in life and how to find itWhy you need a purpose in life and how to find it

Have you ever wondered why you are here? The universe has a reason to express itself through each and every one of us. We all have a use, a purpose and a reason to exist, even though most people will never realise that potential or even find out what that is.

My purpose is to help people reach their full potential and be the best version of themselves, whether that be not smoking or able to get a vaccination without fear. It is also showing other people just like me, who believed for years that they were helpless and worthless because they weren’t enough to protect their parents, their siblings or themselves when they were children, that they are enough, they are loveable capable worthy people.

For years I worked as an administrator for different companies. I lived on my own when I was 17, had to drop out of college to support myself and got the first admin role I could get, with no loyalty to the company and just working to get paid I wasn’t fulfilled. I tried selling compensation advice under an inspirational and amazing seller who I believe may have actually sold vodka to Russians, but in the time I worked with him I didn’t refer a single claim. I couldn’t sell it and I thought that’s it, I can’t sell anything and went back to working admin jobs in the oil and gas sector. I was getting paid well but not feeling satisfied. I was really good at what I did, but it didn’t excite me and left me wishing for the weekend by Monday lunchtime. The thing is, none of these things could make me happy because none of them were aligned with my purpose for being here. None of them gave me a sense of worth, like I was making a difference, like I mattered. I couldn’t sell compensation advice because I wasn’t passionate about it, it didn’t resonate with me on a core level, nothing to do with my actual ability. Over time, living like this and not following your passion and your purpose can lead to depression, anxiety and other health problems.

An Article in Time Magazine also linked having a purpose to better sleep, strength and immunity. People have more positive lifestyle habits when they have a sense of purpose. Not only is having purpose good for your physical and mental health, but also for your bank balance, people who feel they have a purpose in life tend to also make more money.

Not everyone’s purpose will be linked to a career, it could be a hobby or something you do in your personal life that fulfils you, that satisfies you, that you know you were put on the planet to do.

But if you don’t know what your purpose is, how can you find it?

Photo by Amina Filkins on

Marisa Peer teaches that your purpose is linked to what you enjoyed most between the ages of 7 and 14. The point where we are developing our sense of independence and self, but before the ‘practicality’ of life and other peoples opinions have had a chance to shape us. Incidentally I wanted to be a social worker or a teacher at that age (but I also wanted to be an explorer and a mermaid).

Now at this point you could be saying, I love animals and I wanted to be vet when I was 10 but now I’m 40, I can never be a vet. Firstly I would say never say never, but this is a practical reality for most. Let me tell you though, life isn’t that black and white. There are many jobs working with animals, volunteer opportunities, even adopting a rescue animal. There is so much room on the spectrum, so the next question to ask yourself is;

If you went into the doctors today and your doctor told you that you had 5 years to live, your mind and body would work just as they do right now for those 5 years but that would be it – what would you do with the rest of your life? After the travelling and spending time with loved ones, what would you do for you? You may be surprised how quickly some of the barriers and thoughts that were previously there can be circumvented when you have a time limit.

As well as helping people overcome negative habits, feelings and beliefs, I also help people find their purpose, answering these questions and more through hypnotherapy and RTT. We all have a gift, a talent that we are meant to share with the world and I want to help everyone live their best life and fulfil their potential.

Photo by Pixabay on

I would love to hear from you. What did you want to be when you grew up? What would you do with only 5 years left? Please add your answers in the comments.


woman showing apple and bitten doughnut

It’s Not Your FaultIt’s Not Your Fault

white bread on white ceramic plate beside clear drinking glass
Photo by Markus Spiske on

“Just eat less and move more”

“Have you tried this new diet?”

Well no – thank you Karen I haven’t tried the ‘only eat a cube of cheese and dried ice diet’. Really, that’s all I need to do, thank you so much!

It seems easy doesn’t it, you look around the slimming group at everyone making losses except you. You try to diet but your resolve disappears the moment you have a bad day and you feel disgusted with yourself.

Photo by Sean Whang on

At least, that is how I felt. I would lose some weight, plateau and then put it all back on plus interest. It always looks so easy for everyone else. I understood the logic and the information around food, but always seemed to make poor decisions.

Now I understand why I am free from all the guilt and shame that went with my binge eating.

The truth is there are several factors at play as to why we over-eat and are drawn to certain foods, but the one I’m focusing on right now is our ancestry.

What do a lot of dead relatives have to do with why you feel overweight though?

person standing inside cave
Photo by S Migaj on

We are descended from cave-men. Tribal hunters. One of the greatest threats to our survival was starvation. If a deer went past and you said, “not today, I don’t fancy deer” then it could cost you yours and your families life. If you saw food of any kind you wanted it. And the most prized form of food – energy dense sugar. Hard to come-by if you’re a cave-man, bees don’t just give you their precious honey after all. So when there is a source of food, especially sugar, we are hard-wired to want it, in much the same way that animals are hard-wired to be afraid of fire, even they haven’t experienced it.

Nature actually wants us all to be over-weight. If we are over-weight, we have plenty of reserves for the leaner times – but of course now, with a 24hr McDonalds in every town and a corner shop in walking distance from every home, we don’t have lean times.

love dark bar broken
Photo by Vie Studio on

I used to put treats into the cupboard and ration them out according to syns or points. I once spent my evening individually wrapping portions of Galaxy from one of those Giant bars. I would tell myself that I was allowed a little each day and that would work for the first two or three. Then by stressful day 4 when the children have driven me potty and work sucked I find myself inexplicably surrounded by cling-wrap. It called to me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it until it was gone.

This however, isn’t something to feel guilty about. It isn’t something to be ashamed over. It is our normal and correct reaction under the circumstances.

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on

But we can change our hard-wiring. We can remove these beliefs that are holding us back from becoming the fittest, leanest versions of ourselves and I can’t wait to show you how.

To unlock the secrets to being a naturally thin person, to have more energy and feel sexier, join me for my FREE Webinar on the 15th January and I will share with you some amazing tips for overcoming these blocks and instantly eating up to 30% less food. Access will be via my Facebook Group, if you aren’t already part of this growing and caring community, then please join us here


Lose the Guilt, lose the weightLose the Guilt, lose the weight

This is one of the few pictures I could dig out of me when I was bigger (and this isn’t me at my biggest).

I never felt comfortable in my own skin. If I felt an emotion (any emotion) I needed to eat. Celebrating, let’s get a takeaway or go out. Commiserating, we better get two family bars of chocolate, a couple of share bags of sweets and a tub of ice-cream each.

Bored? Eat.

Stressed? Eat.

Lonely? Eat.

It was like there was an empty hole inside of me, that try as I might, I couldn’t fill.

There was an empty hole there though, just not the kind that you can put Snicker’s into (believe me, I really tried).

This was a hole where my guilt and shame lived. My guilt for surviving my childhood, my guilt for not protecting those around me. My guilt for being too tired to sing the long lullaby so I sang the shorter one instead. All of it.

It was where the voice lived that told me “I’m worthless”, “I’m a whore”, “I deserve to be fat and ugly, what does it matter, I’ll end up alone anyway”.

The more I tried to fill it with food, the more I tried to block out the dickhead with comfort foods and sugar, the louder and larger it became.

In the end, I realised that the hole had to be healed another way, and the answer wasn’t hidden under a pizza base.

Through Rapid Transformational Therapy, I released the guilt I had been holding onto, I absolved myself of my survivors guilt, I forgave myself for the ways I let my trauma subconsciously influence my behaviour. I forgave myself for being tired and learnt all the different ways my past was affecting me. Knowledge is the enemy of shame, and once I understood myself, there was no longer any shame.

There was no longer any guilt and I automatically found that I ate less. I wanted less because I wasn’t trying to fill a chasm inside me, I was finally whole.

For the first time since before I started high school, I felt whole.

I am enough

I love the person I am.

I am proud of how far I have come.

If you had told me this was possible when I was at my lowest point, I wouldn’t have believed you. I could not have believed that in just three sessions, I could rid myself of stress and anxiety. Let alone get to the root of the stress, which was linked to so many things that I felt were wrong with me and my life.

Not only did I overcome anxiety but I know that I am enough and have become the best, fittest version of myself without dieting or forcing myself to pursue horrid gym workouts.

I want to be the first person you contact when it comes time to let go of guilt and shed excess weight automatically. I help people just like you find a renewed sense of clarity, happiness, and vitality that can last a lifetime. And I’ve done this without making any major changes in my lifestyle—just with one simple step at a time. Let’s work together so you can have these same powerful results too! Get started by booking your FREE consultation call today!