Lose the Guilt, lose the weight

23rd October 2021| thebeliefdistillery| 0 Comment | 1:00 pm

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This is one of the few pictures I could dig out of me when I was bigger (and this isn’t me at my biggest).

I never felt comfortable in my own skin. If I felt an emotion (any emotion) I needed to eat. Celebrating, let’s get a takeaway or go out. Commiserating, we better get two family bars of chocolate, a couple of share bags of sweets and a tub of ice-cream each.

Bored? Eat.

Stressed? Eat.

Lonely? Eat.

It was like there was an empty hole inside of me, that try as I might, I couldn’t fill.

There was an empty hole there though, just not the kind that you can put Snicker’s into (believe me, I really tried).

This was a hole where my guilt and shame lived. My guilt for surviving my childhood, my guilt for not protecting those around me. My guilt for being too tired to sing the long lullaby so I sang the shorter one instead. All of it.

It was where the voice lived that told me “I’m worthless”, “I’m a whore”, “I deserve to be fat and ugly, what does it matter, I’ll end up alone anyway”.

The more I tried to fill it with food, the more I tried to block out the dickhead with comfort foods and sugar, the louder and larger it became.

In the end, I realised that the hole had to be healed another way, and the answer wasn’t hidden under a pizza base.

Through Rapid Transformational Therapy, I released the guilt I had been holding onto, I absolved myself of my survivors guilt, I forgave myself for the ways I let my trauma subconsciously influence my behaviour. I forgave myself for being tired and learnt all the different ways my past was affecting me. Knowledge is the enemy of shame, and once I understood myself, there was no longer any shame.

There was no longer any guilt and I automatically found that I ate less. I wanted less because I wasn’t trying to fill a chasm inside me, I was finally whole.

For the first time since before I started high school, I felt whole.

I am enough

I love the person I am.

I am proud of how far I have come.

If you had told me this was possible when I was at my lowest point, I wouldn’t have believed you. I could not have believed that in just three sessions, I could rid myself of stress and anxiety. Let alone get to the root of the stress, which was linked to so many things that I felt were wrong with me and my life.

Not only did I overcome anxiety but I know that I am enough and have become the best, fittest version of myself without dieting or forcing myself to pursue horrid gym workouts.

I want to be the first person you contact when it comes time to let go of guilt and shed excess weight automatically. I help people just like you find a renewed sense of clarity, happiness, and vitality that can last a lifetime. And I’ve done this without making any major changes in my lifestyle—just with one simple step at a time. Let’s work together so you can have these same powerful results too! Get started by booking your FREE consultation call today!

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Unlock your confidence and empower yourself by answering 4 simple questions.Unlock your confidence and empower yourself by answering 4 simple questions.

I lost myself, and my confidence, direction and self-belief on the way, but I found it again and more and I’m going to show you how.

Things have been changing for me lately, a lot! My youngest (and last!!!) baby has started school, we lost our family dog Layla during the Summer and I’ve taken a step back and really asked myself the following questions to find my footing and gain confidence in myself again:

Who am I now?
Who do I want to be?
What is important to me right now?
What do I stand for?

Okay, maybe they aren’t that simple?

I’m going to be totally honest, I didn’t have a clue. It’s okay to not have a clue. They are big questions that most of us don’t ask ourselves often enough? Most people don’t know the answers, that is why there is a billion pound industry dedicated to life coaches, books on finding your purpose and you tube videos. While researching this article I came across a TEDEX talk on how to find your life purpose in 5 minutes with over 19million views! So if your sitting there reading this, have confidence you aren’t alone.

Navigating the changes in my life felt like crossing an ocean. I felt adrift in a sea of chaos just being cast from one shipwreck to the next with no chance to get back on course, constantly fighting the current and becoming exhausted. So I did what they tell you do if you are caught out at sea, I stopped trying to swim and floated.

I took some time away and really answered these questions, and I know that who I am now, in September, is a different person I was before school broke up in May. Not unrecognizable, but subtle shifts in what is important and remembering why I started a hypnotherapy business, what I want to be remembered for and the change I want to see in the world. My confidence has developed further than it was before and I believe in myself again.

Me Rocking a floppy hat and champaign in the sun.

I value honesty, kindness and compassion above all else. Everyone has the capacity for kindness. I didn’t think I did once – I was hurt and thought all I would ever be capable of was hurting those around me. I still have moments like that, but I know they aren’t true, they aren’t even my words. They are a belief that a small child formed to understand the world she was subjected to and aren’t relevant to me today. Remembering that and to take my meds…actually better do that excuse me!!!

I am not perfect, and I am perfectly okay with that (most of the time). If you think about it, wouldn’t it be strange if we met someone in our lives who was perfect? We would be freaked out like they were an android or something because there is no such thing in nature as perfection. Sometimes it’s the flaws we perceive in ourselves, that often make us the most endearing to others.

That is who I am, that is what is important to me and that is what I want people to remember about me and that is what I am going to live, my true authentic self. I have a compass again and feel confident navigating the next part of my journey.

I am happier and more at ease in myself, I’m calmer and more understanding with my children. More confident in my parenting. They are happy to see me and want to play with me. I feel empowered and capable because, I may not have a detailed map – but I have a clear heading.

To find your confidence and what’s really important to you as you move forward in life, I will be breaking down these questions over the next few weeks in my Free Newsletter. Subscribers will gain direction and empowerment in who they are by working through the steps. To get this exclusive content completely free, subscribe below.

3 things you can do to keep the winter blues at bay3 things you can do to keep the winter blues at bay

Winter is a tough time of year for many people. The long, dark evenings can make it feel like there’s no hope left in the world and that we’re all just doomed to be miserable forever. But winter doesn’t have to be a season where you hibernate at home and dread going outside. There are plenty of things you can do to keep the winter blues at bay! Here are 3 ways you can beat those winter blues this season:

1) turn on some music

Music affects our mood in so many ways, if you don’t believe me, next time you go to watch a horror movie watch part of it with the sound off. Suddenly it isn’t scary anymore. Music can make us mournful or scared, or it can give us a boost and fill us full of those happy endorphins while dancing around the kitchen.

If when you wake up it is still dark outside and you are on your second cup to get you moving, put on your favourite happy music while you get ready and you will soon be full of energy and optimism for the day.

2) get out into nature

There is no such things as bad weather – only inappropriate clothes
Sir Ranulph Fiennes

Now is the perfect time to get to the shops and get yourself a winter coat you feel good in, that keeps you warm without feeling like the Michelin man. Put it on and go outside. Exercise is amazing for your mood, and when coupled with the joy of being in nature it has a very real physiological affect on the body and mind.

3) Start a journal

I think this is one of the most important for me, you can use an app like I do, such as Beautiful Mood, or any notepad you can pick up.

At the end of the day, write down 3 things you are grateful for.

Underneath that, write down 3 things you acheived today.

And finally write a statement that empowers you, for example “I AM ENOUGH” or “I AM HEALTHY AND LOVE WALKING OUTSIDE”.

Now that you have the tools to create a happier winter, don’t forget to take advantage of them. You can book your FREE consultation call with me today and get started on making this winter better than ever! The only thing left for you is to put on some music, go outside and journal your way to happiness in these next few months. I’ll see you soon 🙂

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What is Self-TalkWhat is Self-Talk

I talk an awful lot about self-talk, so I thought I would do a post going back to basics on what self-talk actually is.

Self-talk is your internal dialogue. It’s influenced by your subconscious mind, and it reveals your thoughts, beliefs, questions, and ideas. Self-talk can be both negative and positive. It can be encouraging, and it can be distressing. There is a school of thought that states that much of your self-talk depends on your personality. I disagree. Your self-talk much like your personality depends on your core beliefs about yourself and the world around you.

It can also depend on your goals, what you want to achieve, and how much effort you’ve put into achieving it. Some common self-talk includes: “I’m not good enough”. These words are often used by people who have low confidence in themselves.

This negative type of self-talk not only hurts the person’s chances of success but also further erodes that confidence. Other common self-talk includes: “I can do it”, which is often used by people who have higher levels of confidence and goals. This positive type of self-talk will help a person reach their goals faster than negative types of self-talk.

In the field of sport psychology , researchers in the 1990s discovered that how anathlete talks to him or herself can either make or break a game. In order for an athlete to perform well, they must overcome mental barriers such as “pressure” and “fear”. Self-talk helps athletes achieve this. For example, when Olympic swimmer Dara Torres swam the 100-meter freestyle , she recorded that herself-talk went as follows: “Brain on fire, legs awake, you are fast, fluid and relaxed. Let it flow through you. It’s going to be a great day.”

Self-talk is used in other types of sports as well and can help the athlete focus on positive thoughts while competing against another person or a clock. However, self-talk isn’t just used in sports. It can be used in all aspects of our lives.

It’s not enough to just talk to ourselves to benefit from positive self talk however. According to statistical data and research on self-talk it is actually more effective when it’s written than said aloud.

In a study titled The “Self-Talk” Technique Effectiveness as Measured by Cognitive Processing in the Randomized Control Trial, scientists discovered that students who wrote their goals down and then said them aloud once a day achieved significantly better grades than those who did not use self-talk. Also, the students who used self-talk had a higher overall GPA than the other group of students.

In addition, in a study titled The Relative Effectiveness of Three Methods for Using Self-Talk to Reduce Acute Perceived Stress , scientists discovered that elementary school teachers who wrote their stressors on cards and then said them aloud in front of a mirror reported less stress than those teachers who did not use self-talk.

Self-talk is very effective in almost everything. Even if someone has a “bad” self-image, they can use their words to help them reach higher levels of success. Self-talk is powerful and should be used frequently. When you say something aloud, it is multiplied by 1000% for the content of information going into your mind. If you don’t believe it then try this: when enacting a positive self-talk statement into your life, say it aloud. Read the sentence out loud. That’s called vocalization and that will increase the impact of positive self-talk by about 1000%.

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