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How often do you say things to yourself or those around you like:

  • “I’m Starving”
  • “I’m Ravenous”
  • “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse”?
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I used to say them to myself all the time, especially around that 3pm afternoon lol. I would be starving. And when I did eat, I finished my plate and sometimes had second helpings, but a little while later I would feel bloated, uncomfortable and lethargic. I ate like a starving person, but the truth is I am far from Starving.

In the Western world, very few people are. The ONS (Office for National Statistics) showed that in the UK 391 people died from malnutrition in 2015, however the recent figures show about 30,000 people will die from obesity related diseases each year.

The biggest issue is, our brain doesn’t receive logic based information on the same, powerful level that it receives emotion based information. So although you logically know that you are not starving, the emotions overrule this and cause chemical changes that block the stomachs signal to your brain that you are full. Your subconsious is trying to keep you alive by making you eat more and ensuring that you do not starve.

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So you keep eating, way beyond when your stomach is telling you to stop and you feel uncomfortable and bloated and lethargic because your body is having to work harder to digest it and lay down fat.

By making a simple, easy change to how we speak to ourselves and others about food we can prevent ourselves from over-eating and enjoy the benefits of being slimmer, healthier and having more energy.

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Stop using hyperbolic language and be honest with yourself. You are not starving. You are not experiencing famine. When you feel hungry say these phrases instead,

“I’m peckish”

“I could eat soon”

“I could use a bite to eat”

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These phrases are a lot less emotive and have no negative affect on your mind. There is no conflict in the mind and there is no need for it to cause you to eat in excess, leaving you free to only want to eat the amounts of food your body needs and can use and live a slimmer, healthier more energetic life.


Related Post

The power of positive talkThe power of positive talk

It’s common knowledge that you have a montage, even Rocky had a montage after all.

Whether you know it or not everyone has a montage. The tune we go through life to. The words we say to ourselves and the songs we sing in our heads (or out loud) create the mood and tone for our lives. Is your film a positive, thrilling romp or is it considerably darker?

We all have an inner critic, the one who berates us. The one who reminds us we are silly for forgetting our keys, or tells us we couldn’t possibly step up on stage in front of all those people because we will embarrass ourselves.

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When we tell children they are stupid, they stop trying. When we tell them they are useless, that no one wants to hear what they have to say, they retreat into themselves and become quiet and withdrawn. Knowing this, why is it that this is what we tell ourselves each day. We make a small mistake learning something and we tell ourselves we are useless and we stop trying. We don’t take the steps to move forward, we don’t push the boundaries. Depression is caused by the hurtful words we say to ourselves.

This is the voice that thinks it’s keeping us safe. Our ancestors needed to be accepted by the tribe, anything that put that acceptance at risk could threaten our survival. We would die without the protection of the tribe. Back then it really did keep us safe, but although we are grateful for that, that voice is not what we need now. Now we need, more than ever, a cheerleader!

We need our inner voice to encourage us to go for our dreams. To cheer us on when we are winning and to push us forward when it feels like we have stalled. We need our voice to heard and to be an individual to stand out. We need to stand out to get the job, to bag the promotion, it now benefits us to be seen.

The good news is, this inner critic still wants to help us, we just need to teach it how to help us in a modern world where to succeed we need to show our vulnerability, our personality and our opinions. We need to teach it to help us by being our cheerleader and changing the montage.

It’s time to give that critic a new role, to teach that voice how to cheer us on, how to encourage us to be ourselves and reach our goals, even when they are scary.

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Take a moment to write a list of everything you say to yourself when you have made a mistake, gotten something wrong or not lived up to your own expectations. My list used to look something like this:

  • I’m not smart enough to do that
  • of course I couldn’t do it, I’m useless
  • Everyone will laugh at me if I make a mistake
  • I’m pathetic, who wants to listen to me

When you have written your list, go through it again. Picture your child or your best friend saying that about themselves. Next to the critic phrase, write what you would say to support them, to encourage them and lift them up.

  • I might not have the knowledge right now, but I will learn
  • I can do anything if I want it enough
  • I don’ have to be perfect, I just have to show up
  • My opinion and knowledge is valuable and people do want to hear what I have to say

Use this positive reframing every time you catch yourself saying something negative. Make positive words and pictures familiar to you. Installing the cheerleader is about making negativity unfamiliar and encouragement familiar, each and every time. Change the music you listen to when you need a boost. I love REM, but sometimes singing “it’s been a bad day, please don’t take my picture” just isn’t the right tune for me. Rather I reach for The Script and remind myself that “[I] can be a hero, [I] can be the best, [I] can be the king king banging on [my] chest”

with this new montage, this cheerleader coaching you and encouraging you, you’re changing the score, the backdrop to your life. You are creating the best version of you.

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It’s okay to not show upIt’s okay to not show up

I have missed writing these past two weeks, but I have felt the need to step back, so I did and I’m not sorry.

You see, I needed to spring clean my home, where my husband and I raise my son who is almost four, my daughter who is almost two and look after our wonderful black lab. As you can imagine, after a winter in lockdown, there were some jobs that needed to be done that just haven’t been possible with studying, working and writing to you wonderful people and so something had to give, and this was it.

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At first I really believed that, like Dr. Strange or Bernard with his watch, that I was fully capable of making it happen, that I could do everything and we would all be happy but after the first day, it occurred to me that despite popular opinion, I am not superwoman. Even with the help of my amazing and very involved (when not recovering from surgery) husband I just couldn’t keep on top of the regular cleaning and laundry, feeding and entertaining children, walking the dog and studying while trying to do all the extra cleaning I need to do. I would start each morning with amazing intentions, work at a million miles an hour and then burn out before passing out on the sofa and certainly not doing any of the husband and wife things, let alone planning, researching and writing a blog.

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I’ve been in similar situations when I was younger, it may have been more socialising than housework but the need to do everything and be everything to everyone is the same. Before I would feel guilty about letting people down, I would tell myself how I was a bad friend, lazy, not good enough and in the end it made me quite unwell.

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I would say “yes” to anything that my friends asked, Do I fancy going out at 11pm when I’m in my pj’s already, of course, just give me half an hour. Your ex posted something on facebook on a school night and you need someone to eat ice-cream with, of course the door is open. If you are reading this thinking you can relate I have one piece of advice for you…Say “No” occassionally.

Now I have grown in more ways than one, I know that speaking to myself like that is not helpful. I am an amazing friend, and now I value myself and my time more and can say no, I am an even better friend, because when I say “yes” I have the energy and capacity to be fully present and involved. I am certainly good enough. I am not superwoman although I am a phenominal woman.

This realisation definitely makes it easier to say “no”, because I know now that it really doesn’t matter. If I decline a night out, I’m not going to lose friends over it. My friends, and indeed your friends won’t hold it against you forever. In fact they may respect you for it. When you say “no” to others, what you are really saying is “yes” to yourself. Giving your batteries time to recharge or do something that is important to you means that when you do say “yes” to others, they get the best of you, not the rest of you.

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What Does Self Care Mean, and Why Is It Important?What Does Self Care Mean, and Why Is It Important?

Self care is important because it helps you maintain your mental and physical health.

It can be used as a tool to help overcome trauma, depression, anxiety, stress, addiction or any other negative feelings that may affect the way one perceives themselves.

So what is Self-care?

It is all about caring for ourselves to manage our health without the aid of a medical professional. In health care, self-care is any human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated, for the purpose of the maintenance of health and wellbeing.

Self-care has become more popular as not only are medications expensive and come with long waiting lists, but we are all becoming more aware of the emotional and mental effects of not looking after ourselves properly. The problem with defining it comes in our uniqueness as individuals – there are as many ways to take care of yourself as there are people to do it.

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Self-care can also be an outlet for creativity; activities like cooking healthy food, painting on canvas or creating art in general.

It can be exercising and working out or it can be getting together with your best friend for hug and a chat. Whatever self-care looks like for you personally, you need to work with what makes you feel good about yourself.”

A common misconception about self-care practices is that they’re only important to those who lack access to may be a little ‘hippie’ or with much more time on their hands. The reality is that even small acts of self-care benefit everyone. From putting lotion on your skin in the morning to attending a 5 day yoga retreat, looking after yourself is not only important for everyone’s wellbeing, but possible for even the busiest of us to acheive.

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Self-care can include taking a break from work to do something else, getting enough sleep each night, eating nutritious food, drinking water regularly and exercising. It may seem like these are all simple tasks, but they are often overlooked by people who have busy lives and don’t take time to prioritize their own well being.

Eating well every day may seem like an easy task to accomplish when self-care isn’t on your mind; however with how busy our lives are these days people often forget about their own needs which leads them having less energy throughout the day.

It’s not just what you eat either – sometimes people find themselves eating junk foods because they’re “too tired” after a long day to make themselves a nutritious meal. While junk food is quick and easy, it’s not going to give you the energy or nutrition that your mind & body needs.

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Self-care can also be something as simple as spending time with friends – but often times people don’t take this into consideration either because they’re too focused on work. Spending quality time with family members every now and then will allow for better communication and bonding between relatives while allowing you some much needed downtime.

The list goes on! Self care means different things to different people so find what works best for you by exploring your favourite activities.

One important thing to note is that self-care should never be used as a way to escape from reality or deal with difficult emotions like stress, anxiety and depression. If you’re struggling in some other aspect of your life it’s crucial that you seek professional help before using self-care as the “quick fix” for those issues. When done properly, though, self care can lead to great benefits – which are listed below!

* Improved immune system function * Reduced blood pressure * Increased feelings of happiness * Better coping skills when dealing with future stressful situations

I could go on all day about how much good regular self care does for our mental and physical health but I’ll stop here by mentioning one last benefit – self care can help with relaxation and relieve stress