The Belief Distillery Melanie Parker Hypnotherapy Healthy Eating,Healthy lifestyle,self-care,Uncategorized How memories can keep you from reaching your weight loss goals

How memories can keep you from reaching your weight loss goals

I have always loved cakes.

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I remember the smell in my house when grandma was baking them, and how that sweet sugar coated everything around me – the racks of cooling papers on either side as they let out their fragrance to meet me at eye level.

Needing fattening up as my grandmother would say, I entered her care at 6 years old. I had known what it was to be truly hungry at that point and be without food. So my grandma would always make this creamy chicken and tagliatelle dish on a Saturday, I would be encouraged to have seconds and told to clear my plate.

I was given mountains of Beef Stroganoff and I cannot remember an evening that we didn’t have a desert (unless we were being punished).

And the deserts were amazing. If I was sad or needed attention of any kind, there would be a cake, a chocolate bar, a biscuit.

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However, when I was living with my now husband in our twenties, I was getting bigger and bigger. I tried dieting, but I always ended up giving up and planning to start again tomorrow. I had never made the connection between my comfort eating and my learning food was a comfort.

Food, especially rich butter and cream laden dishes or sugary treats became the way I felt closer to my grandma. My type 2 diabetic, highly unhealthy and wonderful grandma. When I realised this, I also realised something else.

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My grandma would be horrified if she had lived to see the damage I had done to my body trying to remember the love and affection I felt when she fed me. She would not want me to make myself as unwell as she was in order to feel close to her. She would be heartbroken if she ever knew that her amazingly well intentioned acts had helped inform the choices I had made time and time again over food.

The amazing thing about knowing this about myself is it has enabled me to recognise these characteristics in myself. I never need to eat cake or chocolate to be comforted as I am able to comfort myself in other ways. I realised that the reason I was unable to diet is that diets aren’t made for people like me, people who have a strong emotional connection to food (which is most of us) and need to understand and overcome those barriers. Once you overcome them, you never need to diet again as your diet naturally changes. You automatically cut down on the foods that are making you unhealthy and unwell because you can unlink those memories to the action of eating.

I can show you how to do this and more in my FREE Webinar. Join me on the 15 February 2022 at 8pm in my Facebook group Radiant Balance to be part of this incredible process.


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group of people making toast

Going out, without the scales going upGoing out, without the scales going up

Are you struggling to stick to your diet when you go out? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, a recent study found that 71% of people struggle to stay on track when they eat out. But don’t give up just yet – there are a few things you can do to make sure you don’t fall off the wagon.

close up shot of a birthday cake
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Whether you are going to a children’s party, a high end restaurant or drinking with friends, don’t go hungry.

When we start to feel hungry and the only things available are turkey dinosaurs and cakes, or we feel ‘starving’ by the time the menu shows up when we are out, we are more likely to over-eat and any diet goes out the window. I’m not saying go out for dinner on top of a full meal, but making sure you have had a handful of nuts or a light snack before you leave and you will make it easier to order the food you want and stay away from the buffet table.

If you are eliminating certain things from your diet or just trying to cut down on fat, check the menu in advance and make sure they cater for your diet. Most places will serve sauces on the side or swap a side if you ask, however don’t expect them to completely change a recipe because you don’t want cream in your creamy mushroom pasta!

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You don’t have to eat everything on your plate!

Portion sizes in a lot of ‘family’ restaurants are ridiculous. Too much food makes you feel uncomfortable, bloated and sluggish. Waste food, is waste food. Whether you put it in the bin or store it as fat, it is still waste and sabotaging your diet goals.

You can and will find it empowering to leave food on your plate. If someone else is paying and you don’t want to seem ungrateful, ask for a ‘doggy bag’ and discretely throw it out when you get home or save some for another day.

The same for birthday cakes, sweets and chocolates. You don’t need to feel like you are making someone else feel bad or that you are in any way being rude when there are biscuits in the office, or great-aunt Mildred has baked you a cake. You can tell your friend or family member, “Thank you so much, I’m a little full right now but please can I have it to take home to enjoy later”. Then you haven’t refused or found yourself in an awkward conversation with that one…you know who I mean. The one that says, “go on, it’s only a little bit”.

Finally and most importantly to keep you making the choices that you want to make for your diet, have the body and life you want, is that you need to change your associations with food.

A vegetarian doesn’t feel tempted to eat meat, a vegan doesn’t feel like they are battling with the urge to devour a fry-up. Why?

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The pictures and images they associate in their minds with these foods create a powerful blueprint. Rather than images of a juicy burger and thinking at how yummy it is, they have locked onto an image of a distressed animal. That image is so powerful that they become indifferent to, or even disgusted by things they may once have enjoyed. They no longer link pleasure to eating meat but instead link images of immense suffering and pain.

You can do this with any food, when you think of flour you can conjure images of delicious cakes and memories with grandma, or you can choose to re-wire your mind to see images of making glue in school with flour and water. Wallpaper paste. That disgusting gloopy mess clogging up your insides. You can do this with any food, in either direction, making the things you want to eat more of even more appealing.

If you’re feeling motivated to make some changes but could use a little help, don’t worry. I have plenty of advice and support available here on the blog, as well as my free 30-minute chat service. So book a call with me today! I can’t wait to hear about your adventures in socialising!


appetizer apples berries berry

5 foods to eat to become a happier, more energetic you5 foods to eat to become a happier, more energetic you

It’s that time of the day again, you just can’t seem to shake off that tired feeling. You’re angry at everyone and everything around you for no reason whatsoever! It’s time for a snack.

We eat sugary sweets and treats, it’s like giving our body a pat on the back for doing all this hard work, but we are not giving ourselves a boost and helping, we are actually making ourselves feel worse – much like drinking salt water when you are thirsty.

I am sharing with you my top 5 things you should be eating to prevent these periods of tired grouchiness all together.

Fatty Fish

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Omega 3 is one of the very few supplements you can take where the effects are as good as the real thing, but if you are leaving out fatty fish and only taking Omega 3 supplements, you are missing out on some amazing health benefits of this super-protein.

One serving of Tuna or Salmon will provide your whole RDI (recommended daily intake) of vitamin B12. This little guy works with folate to help iron work better in your body by increasing the amount of red blood cells you have. Having the right levels of iron and oxygen in your blood (carried by red blood cells) can increase your energy levels and make it easier for your muscles and organs to work.


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Eggs are an amazingly filling protein. Unlike carbohydrates such as starch and sugar, protein doesn’t give your body a spike in energy and then leave you like a bad date at 3pm. It steadily fuels your body, always there for you with no abandonment.

Unlike other sources of protein though, eggs are amazing as they contain something amazing, Leucine.

Leucine is an amino acid which speeds up the body’s ability to build muscle and increases the breakdown of fat to release more energy. The high number of B vitamins in eggs work with the Leucine to become an incredible fat busting team. Great for our waists, but also for our energy levels!

Dark Chocolate

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This is my top 5 and it wouldn’t be mine if it didn’t have chocolate on the list. I am not talking about a snickers bar here though. I am talking dark chocolate, at least 70% cocoa solids but the closer your taste buds and budget can get to the least processed, Cacao nibs the better.

As well as being packed full of anti-oxidants, it actually helps oxygen travel round your body. That means chocolate helps the oxygen in your blood get to your brain (so you have more mental clarity) and muscles so you have more energy, and can help prevent your getting ‘a stitch’ during exercise.

Dark chocolate is also a stimulant, boosting our energy levels and mood with theobromine and caffeine.


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They are not just for millennials (and my 4 year old), Avocados are an amazingly versatile and delicious food.

As well as being scrummy, they are considered a superfood because of how rich they are in healthy fats, fibre and those amazing B vitamins again.

The healthy fats in avocado can not only be stored in the body to be used as fuel, but they also help the body absorb nutrients from the other foods we eat, enhancing their positive effects on our mood and energy levels.

About 80% of the carbs in avocado come from it’s fibre content. There is a lot of research on the effect our gut health has on our mood and energy levels and fibre is great for keeping the cogs turning so to speak. But fibre’s other superpower is it’s ability to help sustain our energy tank.

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Get Some Nuts

I couldn’t resist that title, but by far my superstar energy and mood foods are nuts.

Again in this post I go into the specific benefits of walnuts but all nuts contain an insane amount of protein and healthy fats, but they also contain some amazing nutrients in the form of B vitamins, iron, vitamin E and manganese. These little legends help keep us alert and send our energy production skyrocketing.

So next time you feel the need to reach for a snickers, GET SOME NUTS

If you’re looking for an easy way to boost your mood, energy levels, and overall happiness, eating these five foods is a great place to start. And the best part? You can easily add them into your current diet without making any major changes. Ready to get started? Book a free call with me today and let’s discuss how you can make healthy eating work for you. Thanks for reading!


How to make time for your familyHow to make time for your family

I know it’s hard. You have to work, you have to get the kitchen clean, walk the dog, get through the laundry and hopefully the rain will hold off so you can get the children out to the park.

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This is how I approached every day. Before I could allow myself to do the fun things, I had to do my chores so to speak. Isn’t that what we are taught growing up and what we are teaching our children. Get your chores done and you can go out.
So I would pile on the chores, I would fill every day with cleaning floors, wiping sides, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the children, cleaning the side again because its now after lunch and I still haven’t been fun.

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I’ve shouted at the children to stop messing up the sofa cushions, I’ve told them off for getting under my feet wondering why they don’t understand that if they could just let me get this done we could go to the park. They do understand however that I said that yesterday and the day before and we still haven’t been to the park because we continuously run out of time.

Let me tell you a story about a college professor, he had two pots of stones of different sizes on his desk and an empty jar.

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This professor demonstrated that, if you fill the jar with the smallest stones – you can’t fit the bigger ones in. There is simply no room for any of the other stones to fit. The jar was full.

Then, with the jar empty and the stones organised into their respective pots, he put the largest stones in, then the smallest stones were poured in and the jar was once again full.

He said to his students, this jar is your life. The biggest stones are the things most important to you. Your family. Your health. Days at the park and drinks with friends.

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The small stones are the things we do, the housework, work, the laundry.

You can fill your life with cooking, cleaning and laundry and you will have a busy, unfulfilled and boring life.

Or you can fill your life with memories, days out, looking after yourself and spending time with friends, and you will still be able to cook, you will still have clothes to wear and your home isn’t going to kill anyone and your life will be full.

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Now we go to the park first, I make time to play and not only do I still get things done, but my tired and contented little monkeys are so worn out, they sit and colour or watch a little television and I can get on and clean things once without them clinging to me, begging me and otherwise wrecking the house.

So forget what your parents told you, you don’t need to finish your chores before you can make time for fun, time for yourself and time for your family.