Have you ever wanted to eat a corpse?
This week, I have seen a lot of Facebook posts relating to peoples ‘will power’ (or lack of) and people setting themselves up to fail before they are even out of the gate with the language they use.
So why are the words we use important?
The words we use, tell our brain and our bodies how to behave, and our brain and body responds. When you start thinking about food, you feel hungry. When new mums are talking about their babies, they may lactate and when young couples start to think about night time, other changes start to happen! Our bodies are reacting to the words we use and the pictures we create all the time, just some of those pictures are more obvious than others.
Using empowering, positive language can give you a much needed turbo boost on track to your goal, the same way that using negative, diminishing language will hold you back and stop you getting to the size and shape you want to be.
Here are the most common phrases to avoid when talking about your weight loss journey:
Weight LOSS, LOSE weight, LOST weight
You incredible brain is so clever, but very literal. Think about just the word loss. You lose your keys, you lose money, the loss of a loved one leaves a hole that will never be filled. Loss is a word loaded with sadness and negativity. When it is something we might be able to find or replace though, like our keys – our amazing brains get to work helping us get back everything we have lost and help us to make sure we don’t lose it again.
So back to weight, you are telling your brain to help you find the weight you have lost and help you not lose it again when you use this word. (Unfortunately, the way the internet works though is no one will find this blog if I don’t use it, as it is still what many people are searching for, because no one else is teaching this stuff in the same way I am).
Instead, start using positive words, like “got rid of“, “Getting thinner / lighter“. I personally like to use “ditched“, it reminds me of ditching an ex or getting rid of something useless that’s holding me back so it works really well for me and creates a powerful, empowering image. You need to find something that gives you that same feeling. The stronger the emotional connection, the more amazing this simple change will be.
I hate this word with a passion. It already implies you are going to fail. Like when the Mother-in-Law invites you round for tea and you swear you will “try and make it”.
And when you don’t go for tea, or the gym or make a healthy choice, it’s okay because you tried.
Think about the last time you were asked to go out with your best friend, or to see your favorite band – would you say “I’ll try and be there”, or will you be there with bells on?
Start talking to yourself like making the healthy choice is top of your priority list – you will no longer try to fit in exercise, you can’t wait to work out. You won’t try to make the right choice when you go out for dinner, You are excited about seeing all the healthy options on the menu.
I HAVE NO WILL POWER
This is the biggest lie some people are guilty of telling themselves. I have seen people this last week, saying they have no willpower around food. That they are stressed so they ‘gave in’ and ate everything because they have no control.
Fortunately this isn’t true for most people, it was true for this person that was caught trying to eat a CORPSE! But that is truly an exceptional circumstance. Most of us are able to control our eating, however the words we use make the unhealthy option so much more desirable.
Telling yourself you have no willpower is a lie that gives you an excuse for not making a healthy choice. “I tried but I just have no willpower.” It takes the power away from and tells you that your choices are outside of your control. This is diminishing you as a human being, let alone making it harder to make a healthy choice.
Stop saying these phrases and take responsibility for your actions. Tell yourself that you can have whatever you like, and you are choosing energy over bloating, health over fat and you love the changes you are making. You always have a choice, and you are using your will to power the new healthy life you are creating.
These simple changes will elevate your weight ditching powers and increase your motivation tenfold.
If you have benefitted from the information in this post, you will love your FREE Personalised Cheat Sheet. Claim yours now!
Love Mel x
Are you already looking at joining another diet program next year? Maybe a diet you lost a few lbs on before, maybe trying a ‘new’ diet? Either way, you are probably thinking of dropping some weight after Christmas or getting into a new dress for the Christmas party.
The problem is that all the diets are the same concept, restrict what you can and can’t eat (if not the amounts) and do tedious exercise to shed weight. The doctor says it’s simply a case of eating less and moving more, if the doctor says it, it must be true right?
You are not the same as the women in the diet group on Facebook, you are not the same as the 20 other people sitting in group weigh in. So why would following the same strategy work for you?
And it won’t work for them, because they are different from everyone else in the room to. Weight-Watchers, Slimming World, Atkins and all the rest are designed for Jane Doe. Who only eats when she is hungry and is perfect and follows every rule. Heads up, she doesn’t exist. But that doesn’t stop doctors and slimming companies from treating all women like her.
If you are a comfort eater, the same feelings that drive you to eat, are going to be even stronger when you had a bad day and want pizza, and now you feel even worse, so you want pizza even more and you end up in a cycle that leaves you covered in crumbs from every Ryvita in the house and still ordering a dominoes – and feeling rubbish about that so let’s get the cookies too. The diet is actually contributing to your weight gain, making you feel crap about yourself and holding you back from your weight loss goals.
No amount of just substituting foods is going to work in this situation, because it isn’t hunger driving the decision and you are effectively telling yourself not to push the big red button, the shiny one, that looks like a Dominoes app.
None of this is your fault
However, a habitual eater, not driven by emotion and a need for fatty, starchy or sweet food, may find that one slice of rye bread with a little humous is enough to stop them charging through a pack of biscuits, but will struggle to eat only what they need at a buffet.
No amount of telling an addictive eater they can have only one biscuit with a cup of tea is going to make a bit of difference, the food is calling them from the moment they know where it is and once they pop, they can’t stop!
If you relate to these, please know, none of this is your fault. We are designed to find sugar more attractive as, in primitive times it was a source of energy, calories and was rare. When we find it, we are designed to want to eat it until it is gone. Add to that the addictive additives manufacturers put in our food and you have a combination scientists are proving is as addictive as cocaine!
Your parents may have told you that you couldn’t leave the table unless you ate everything in front of you, or when you hurt yourself or needed comfort, they gave you sweets. But you can overcome these challenges and unlearn the unhelpful beliefs.
With diets being designed for a Jane Doe that doesn’t exist (much like one size fits all leggings), how can you hack them to get the best out of your diet if they are your only option?
Well, while I have been quiet, I have been creating cheat sheets to help you no matter what your eating type (or if you’re a combination of the three). I’ve been taking some tips from the incredible Marisa Peer and have adapted her teaching into the following quiz to determine what kind of eater you are to make sure you get the information that is tailored to you.
You want to overcome your evening cravings, you want to be able to control yourself at the family get together – I can show you how. How you can overcome the emotions that lead you to unraveling a days worth of healthy eating in 5 minutes,. How to overcome the voice coming from the kids snack draw. How to have the body you want. It’s easy, only takes a few moments and is completely FREE.
Stop setting yourself up to fail and work with your eating style to start shedding weight now, not after Christmas, after all, you have got that party coming up!
Did you, like millions of others, fatten up more than just the turkey this Christmas? With the stress, the parties, the buffets, the adverts and scents of Christmas it isn’t any wonder.
Strangely enough this is a survival instinct gone wild, that originated with our tribal, hunter gatherer ancestors. But how can that be when they didn’t even celebrate Christmas like we do?
Even so, the need to fatten up for winter is written into our DNA. Food was more scarce, requiring more energy to find. What could be found wasn’t as nutritious, therefore storing enough fuel to see you through (fat) was essential. This biological coding is still in your amazing mind and it is still reacting to it, creating this need even though food is even more readily available this time of year – causing you to subconsciously want to over-eat.
By reminding yourself that this is redundant code, that you can eat whatever you like, whenever you like and food is always available actually helps overwrite it. You can check in with yourself before you finish off the last of the selection boxes and ask yourself if you are really hungry – or just eating it because it’s in front of you? Better yet, as we all head back to work, take those selection boxes with you and pass them out at the office you generous soul you (while helping you to reach your goals).
Speaking of food being in front of you, seeing food can actually increase your appetite by a whopping 30%. Not just real food like the mountainous buffet your aunt held for New Year or all the sides laid out at the Christmas table, but also adverts on TV, bus stops, billboards. They all tap into the emotional need to treat yourself and celebrate and they are full of sugar and fat. Going into the shop and seeing it all is bad enough, but then you can smell the cinnamon and spice smells they are pumping through the store. This can set anyone into a constant craving binge where you find you haven’t gone an hour without eating something!
You can’t remove the adverts or live in a hole, but remind yourself again, that food is always available and you are choosing to eat only what you need and stop when you are full. There will be more food. The endless parties can increase the amount of food we see as a portion, so now the festive period is over, it’s best to check again that you are eating the right size servings again.
Eating slower is also a great way to give your incredible brain time to catch up and tell your stomach when it has has enough, so put the knife and fork down between mouthfuls and you will effortless find yourself eating less.
So that covers the buffets and the parties, but now it’s January, we are waking up to the financial headache Christmas and rising bills is fueling and we are more stressed than ever. Going back to our wonderful, hunter gatherer ancestors, when they were stressed a great deal of energy was expelled. Either they fought, they ran or they hid until they could run. The cortisol left their bodies and they felt the urge to refuel. Now, we get stressed and we cannot run, we cannot fight, we cannot hide. We find other ways to sooth ourselves that worked when we needed soothing as children, we eat sweets, we eat chocolate and ice-cream. Carbs and vending machine fodder. Then when the cortisol finally leaves our body, the chemical reaction still tells us we need to refuel and therefore we eat more. If you are an emotional eater, this call to sugar is even louder!
By finding healthier coping mechanisms and ways to release stress, you can overwrite this coding as well. Nothing in the mind is permanent and it can be affectively changed. By finding ways to relief stress that don’t involve eating (or putting anything else in your body) and asking yourself before you grab a bag of crisps, “Am I hungry, or do I just want to eat?” You can start to notice the patterns and give yourself what you really need instead.
So you can see now how we are wired to fatten up for winter, but how we can change that wiring, update that programming and give ourselves the best start to 2023.
For more bespoke advice, click here to get a FREE Personalised Cheat Sheet specific to your needs.
If there is anything else you would like me to cover, please reach out and let me know in the comments section – I love hearing your views and want to make this as useful a space as possible!
Love Mel x
Do you feel like you’ve been doing everything right when it comes to your diet, but the weight just won’t budge? You’re not alone – many women find that they hit a brick wall when it comes to weight loss. But what if the problem isn’t with your diet at all? In this blog post, I’m going to explore why your diet might be stopping you from losing weight – and what you can do about it. Keep reading to find out more!
When we first evolved on this planet, we were tribal people. As tribal people, our main concern was the opposite of loosing weight. Starvation and malnutrition were the biggest killers (even as recently as 500 years ago) and our bodies came up with some pretty amazing ways to ensure that we didn’t starve.
One of the big things your incredible body does, is slow your metabolism when you have been hungry for a while. So if you have ever been on a restrictive diet, your weight loss may have plateaued and when you stopped you put it on quicker than before. Your body is doing exactly what it was programmed to do during those tribal times, to prevent you from starving, it has slowed your metabolic rate. The rate at which your body burns calories is reduced making subsequent efforts at weight loss that much harder.
There are many ways you can increase your metabolism, drinking ice water in the morning instead of coffee, adding cinnamon, chilies and coriander to your food also increases your metabolism. Make sure that what ever you are doing to lose weight, you do not subject yourself to long periods of hunger.
Today, if I don’t fancy something in the fridge, I won’t eat it. I know that it will be there tomorrow or I can pick up something else and I don’t need to eat it just because it is available.
My tribal brain however is still operating from millennia old hardwiring that cannot be easily overcome. When our ancestors saw food that was available they ate it. They could have said, “Oh great, the hunter’s have brought back deer, I don’t fancy deer” and not eaten it, and then could have gone several days before the hunters were able to find any other protein. To prevent this, we are wired to want food when we see it. Having food in your line of sight increases your appetite, and having more than 3 separate flavors also stimulates your appetite, so your body can take in as wide variety of nutrients as possible. An amazing, life saving ability when in a tribe, and food was scarce but this combination can cause you to eat a whopping 80% more food than your body needs.
Now we are subjected to an average of 400 images of food a day from adverts, billboards and in supermarkets. That’s 400 times our appetite is being stimulated by something other than genuine hunger. Traditional Diets don’t teach you how to work with this part of the brain, but instead to fight against it. The tribal mind is the emotional mind, and logic will never win against emotion – if that were true no one would over or under eat and we would all be eating kale.
If you are an emotional eater, like me, there are times when you are stressed, lonely, sad or just bored and find you crave sugar and you sabotage your weight loss efforts. If there is anything sweet in the house it feels like it is literally calling to you. That is because it is, it is calling to that tribal part of your brain again. The part of you that believes sugar is scarce, is a valuable commodity. The part that was denied sweets as a child, that part that was given treats and biscuits to quiet them when their care giver didn’t have time to play. Honey finders in Zimbabwe are highly revered members of the tribe. It is a skill not everyone has and when they find a source, they remember where it is. Sugar is scarce and valuable and the tribal part of your mind remembers this and puts huge value on high calorie, sweet food.
Here is the final way diets fail you, when you inevitably succumb to your emotional mind and eat the children’s Easter eggs (just me?), they make you feel like you have failed. They call food ‘syns’ or give it ‘points’. They make you feel bad about yourself, when you are behaving exactly as you are wired to. They give you no tools, no help to overcome the unhealthy patterns you have learnt and yet blame you for not following the plan properly when you cannot stick to the ridiculous system. 98% of diets fail, that is people who lose weight put it all back on within the first 5 years or fail to reach their goal weight at all. We wouldn’t go back to any other product that failed us as much as diets do and yet it is still a billion dollar industry.
If you are ready to try something new, innovative that doesn’t leave you hungry or impose restrictions on your life follow me on Facebook and join Radiant Balance for more information, tricks and hacks to make your weight loss dreams your reality.
If you would like to know more about my Freedom from diets course and how you can maintain your dream weight forever, book your FREE Value Call NOW!
Are you a mum who’s trying to juggle work, family and staying healthy? Or a millennial who’s always on the go and doesn’t have time for anything else? Or maybe you’re dieting and feeling like you can’t enjoy your favourite foods anymore. If any of these sound like you, then you might be interested in finding out how your diet could be stressing you out.
When you make dinner for the family, do they have the same thing as you? Do you spend time stressing about meal plans and prepping everything in advance or are you a ‘raid the freezer at the last minute for something that isn’t going to cost you a million syns and realising the only healthy thing in there is the cardboard’ person?
Even going out for dinner and socialising would be stressful for me. How many gins can I have? how do I eek that out so I don’t want to go home at 10? Can I view the menu in advance? What if everyone wants dessert?
So many questions and so much to think about and stress about.
With so much going on in the world, it seems silly to get stressed about being privileged enough to go out for a meal – but it isn’t silly. It’s very real and this stress can be sabotaging the very diet we are trying so hard to stick to.
When we are under stress, our bodies go into fight or flight mode and the first thing to suffer physiologically is our digestion. If we are about to fight and run for our lives, precious energy can’t be used up digesting food. This makes it much harder and slower for your body to get the nutrients it needs.
Emotionally, we want to find comfort and ease the stress. Our minds are creating links between the diet and pain. If you were a comfort eater before you started your diet it is likely that although you are trying so hard to change the habit of unhealthy eating, your mind has spent years wiring pleasure to comfort foods. The minds job is to move us away from pain and towards pleasure. So there you are, stressed out, so your mind does it’s job perfectly of sending you cravings for comfort foods and all the things you want to stay away from.
Using RTT I re-programmed and upgraded my mind and body to make the right choices effortless and even pleasurable and I show my clients how to do this themselves as well as being their expert guide through the process. How to enjoy going out and to feel empowered and free by the healthy choices they are making and not imprisoned by them.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed at the thought of starting or maintaining a diet, I would love to chat with you about how I can help remove some of that stress. My goal is to help you enjoy looking after yourself and your health, so get in touch here for more support on your diet journey. With my help, you can make small changes that will have a big impact on your long-term health and well-being.
Hello from the other side!!!!! I didn’t work over Easter so things have been a bit quiet here on the site, trust me, that is the only place things have been quiet!
Are you feeling a bit of a Easter hang over? I certainly am! After the chocolate binges and general overindulgence, many people feel tired, bloated and just plain icky. But don’t worry, there are ways to recover from your Easter excesses. Check out these tips for getting back on track after Easter.
As per usual, we did the normal days out to see lambs, picnic in the woods and had an Easter Egg Hunt on Easter Sunday, it was a lot of fun and the children loved it.
The other thing they loved was being spoilt rotten! I have lost count of the amount of chocolate eggs filling my home. I succumbed and ate a couple of their eggs – to help them of course because no 4 year old needs more than 10 eggs, even if they are spaced out over the next few weeks.
By Tuesday we all felt awful; tired, moody, uncomfortable and generally low.
So I have gone back to basics to ensure that my spawn actually have some chocolate left by the end of the weekend.
It all started with a little forgiveness. I have forgiven myself for binging on stolen chocolate (although I don’t think the children will if they notice). I have strong memories around chocolate, food and Easter. The chocolate companies have marketed chocolate as a way to love myself so strongly and convincingly that it is work to undo that programming. It is a behavior I relied on for 30 years, There are physical neurological connections driving this behavior.
Next, although I have forgiven myself, I can’t keep using this as an excuse to binge eat. Now I know better, I can do better and I am committed to doing so.
I have gone back to listening to my hypnotic recording and remembering why I eat the way I do, how eating healthily makes me feel in my body and my mind.
And during the rest of my day, I am remembering that I am making the wonderful choice to stay slim, to stay healthy and I love the person I have become.
When you have Complex Trauma, the road to recovery is never straight. I am an expert in nutrition and health, a hypnotherapist and weight management coach and yet still sometimes events knock me for six and I have to dust myself back off and remember why I choose every day to have a gorgeous, healthy body.
It’s that time of the day again, you just can’t seem to shake off that tired feeling. You’re angry at everyone and everything around you for no reason whatsoever! It’s time for a snack.
We eat sugary sweets and treats, it’s like giving our body a pat on the back for doing all this hard work, but we are not giving ourselves a boost and helping, we are actually making ourselves feel worse – much like drinking salt water when you are thirsty.
I am sharing with you my top 5 things you should be eating to prevent these periods of tired grouchiness all together.
Omega 3 is one of the very few supplements you can take where the effects are as good as the real thing, but if you are leaving out fatty fish and only taking Omega 3 supplements, you are missing out on some amazing health benefits of this super-protein.
One serving of Tuna or Salmon will provide your whole RDI (recommended daily intake) of vitamin B12. This little guy works with folate to help iron work better in your body by increasing the amount of red blood cells you have. Having the right levels of iron and oxygen in your blood (carried by red blood cells) can increase your energy levels and make it easier for your muscles and organs to work.
Eggs are an amazingly filling protein. Unlike carbohydrates such as starch and sugar, protein doesn’t give your body a spike in energy and then leave you like a bad date at 3pm. It steadily fuels your body, always there for you with no abandonment.
Unlike other sources of protein though, eggs are amazing as they contain something amazing, Leucine.
Leucine is an amino acid which speeds up the body’s ability to build muscle and increases the breakdown of fat to release more energy. The high number of B vitamins in eggs work with the Leucine to become an incredible fat busting team. Great for our waists, but also for our energy levels!
This is my top 5 and it wouldn’t be mine if it didn’t have chocolate on the list. I am not talking about a snickers bar here though. I am talking dark chocolate, at least 70% cocoa solids but the closer your taste buds and budget can get to the least processed, Cacao nibs the better.
As well as being packed full of anti-oxidants, it actually helps oxygen travel round your body. That means chocolate helps the oxygen in your blood get to your brain (so you have more mental clarity) and muscles so you have more energy, and can help prevent your getting ‘a stitch’ during exercise.
Dark chocolate is also a stimulant, boosting our energy levels and mood with theobromine and caffeine.
They are not just for millennials (and my 4 year old), Avocados are an amazingly versatile and delicious food.
As well as being scrummy, they are considered a superfood because of how rich they are in healthy fats, fibre and those amazing B vitamins again.
The healthy fats in avocado can not only be stored in the body to be used as fuel, but they also help the body absorb nutrients from the other foods we eat, enhancing their positive effects on our mood and energy levels.
About 80% of the carbs in avocado come from it’s fibre content. There is a lot of research on the effect our gut health has on our mood and energy levels and fibre is great for keeping the cogs turning so to speak. But fibre’s other superpower is it’s ability to help sustain our energy tank.
I couldn’t resist that title, but by far my superstar energy and mood foods are nuts.
Again in this post I go into the specific benefits of walnuts but all nuts contain an insane amount of protein and healthy fats, but they also contain some amazing nutrients in the form of B vitamins, iron, vitamin E and manganese. These little legends help keep us alert and send our energy production skyrocketing.
So next time you feel the need to reach for a snickers, GET SOME NUTS
If you’re looking for an easy way to boost your mood, energy levels, and overall happiness, eating these five foods is a great place to start. And the best part? You can easily add them into your current diet without making any major changes. Ready to get started? Book a free call with me today and let’s discuss how you can make healthy eating work for you. Thanks for reading!
Are you restricted?
The answer is always going to be yes, and although it conjures quite a negative image in the mind, we welcome a lot of the restrictions in our lives.
We view some restrictions as very welcome: I am pleased that I can lock my home and know that other people are restricted from entering. I like that concerts are restricted to the number of people the venue can accommodate and I’m sure you are to.
But when it comes to dieting, I hear and see so many people saying that they hate the restrictions dieting comes with. All the things they can’t have.
And yet, these same people are facing so many other restrictions in their lives that they desperately want to change.
They want to be able to take their children swimming.
They want to be able to go to the cinema.
They want to wear the beautiful outfits they see in magazines and catalogues, but they feel they can’t. They restrict their lives to elasticated waist bands and hiding away their amazing personalities because they feel shrouded by fat.
When you are only a little overweight or even at your target, it is so much easier to reward yourself and feel great. You skip dessert one evening and you notice it immediately on the scales the next day. You can go for a massage or to the spa, or go on a date.
But when you feel so ashamed of your size, those rewards don’t feel available to you. You can skip dessert but it doesn’t show as quickly, you can’t find clothes that make you feel sexy and the idea of being in swimwear makes you want to hide inside the nearest oversized housecoat you can find.
No one seems to talk about how much harder it is to reward yourself and to shed weight once you hit a certain point. Exercise and walking is harder if possible at all and emotionally there is a lot of pain with very, very slow gain.
So why would someone choose these restrictions over restricting their diet? Because you are restricted so much in every other way, and food is such an immense pleasure and feels like a reward. So much has been taken from you already, when someone tells you that you can’t have cake as well you aren’t going to listen.
By changing your mindset and really looking at all the ways in which your weight and size restrict your life, you can overcome this and embrace making healthy choices rather than feeling that certain things aren’t allowed.
Are you ready to let go of your weight and size restrictions? Remember, it’s not about depriving yourself or following a strict set of rules. It’s about making healthy choices because you want to be the best possible version of yourself- inside and out. If you’re ready for real change, book a free call with me today. I can’t wait to help you get started on your own journey to health and happiness!https://assets.calendly.com/assets/external/widget.js