Part 2 – Why your depressed and what you can do about itPart 2 – Why your depressed and what you can do about it

There are many reasons we find ourselves depressed or anxious. I covered most of these last week (if you haven’t already, you can read that here), we may have been told we have a hormone imbalance, we may be suffering from inflammation in the brain, reduced serotonin and reduced neuro-plasticity (the brains ability to communicate with itself, let go of old connections and establish new ones). So if all this is going on in our brain, why am I talking to you about your diet?

We have all heard of the importance of serotonin and dopamine in stabilizing and boosting our mood, but what may surprise you to learn is that 95% of the body’s serotonin is produced in the gut and over half of our dopamine is synthesised there too.

The gut is referred to as our second brain, it has it’s own functioning ability outside of the brain allowing it to communicate with the brain. According to Professor Felicia Jacka of the Food and Mood centre, 90% of information travelling this superhighway is going from the gut to the brain, and only 10% from the brain to the gut.

So it makes sense that the foods we eat and the health of our gut directly correlates with the health of our brain.

The truth of it is – Your comfort foods are actually making you feel worse.

That’s right, the foods you eat when you feel low, actually contribute to you feeling worse. The below is a list of foods to minimise in your diet and why they are not helping you shake the blues.

  1. Alcohol, tobacco, other drugs

We know typically these are depressants, and yet we still reach for a glass of wine or a joint to have a good time or numb the effects of stressful day, but they affect the nervous system. Alcohol interferers with our sleep, promotes inflammation as, news flash, our body swells and gets aggravated when we poison it. Add to this that it makes your blood sugar go up and down like a yo-yo, it actively reduces serotonin and actually increases production of hormones that increase your levels of stress and anxiety. It’s a quick fix that not only is toxic to our brain, but damages the gut lining and our healthy bacteria.

2. Added sugar (refined sugar)

We have all been to a children’s birthday party where the children are ‘hyped’ up on sugar and then all get tired and short tempered almost as quickly. The link between the ‘sugar high’ and our food is so similar to that of alcohol or drugs we even treat it as such and limit how much we allow our children to have. We know it’s not good and yet we sit there eating entire chocolate oranges in 10 minutes (or was that just me?)

What sugar actually does is promote inflammation, cause fatigue and irritability, and stop us being able to effectively deal with stress. A study cited by Mind over Munch in their video here, stated that people with a high sugar diet were 23% more likely to develop depression or anxiety.

3. Processed Foods & Fast Foods

We know they aren’t good for us, but the trans fats found in processed and fast food correlate with anxiety, aggression and depression among others. Processed meats are often full of salt , sugar and a lot of…

4. Artificial sweeteners and anything else you can’t pronounce in the ingredients

The clue is the in the name, artificial. They aren’t food and our bodies don’t know how to process them as such. Not only can these ingredients lead to weight gain, they are also associated with headaches, dizziness, migraines as well as mood disorders. If it isn’t food, don’t eat it.

5. ‘White’ grains

When they make white flour, white rice etc, they take away everything that is good about the grain and leave behind what is basically a form of dehydrated glue. Simple carbs like those found in white bread, white rice have nothing good for you, but wow are they full of gluey starch, a simple sugar that causes massive irregularity in your blood sugar.

6. Refined oils

We know how amazing Omega 3 is for our brain health, more about that later, but have you heard of it’s arch nemeses, Omega 6? Neither had I before I started this research, but much like a negative cancels out a positive, Omega 6 (found in refined oils) compete with and block out the Omega 3s. Rather than helping our brain function, Omega 6 causes inflammation, impairs brain function and has been shown to worsen depression. Worth noting a lot of the already really bad fast food, is then fried in refined oil.

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I’m not telling you that you can never have a glass of wine after a stressful week (studies have shown small amounts of red wine have a positive effect on our mood and health), or you can never treat the children to McDonalds, but it should be exactly that – a treat. In order to really help lift our spirits, we need to limit these foods that are literally making us depressed (it’s no surprise that the western world has the highest consumption of these foods and the highest rates of common mood disorders) and eat foods that truly make us happy and function well.

  1. Fatty fish

I promised I would come back to this Omega 3, the undisputed ruler of the brain health foods. Our brains are actually made up of 60% fat. Healthy fats in the form of Omega 3 are fuel to our brains. The best source of Omega 3 is in Salmon, but other fatty fish such as sardines, mackerel and tuna are also good for you. Not to mention all their other health benefits. Also, if you really don’t like fish, Omega 3 is one of the only nutrients that still has a positive effect on mood when taken as a supplement.

Fatty fish also contain amino acids, if the nutrients we take in from food were love letters amino acids would be the envelopes. Tryptophan in particular is the envelope of choice for our happy hormone, serotonin.

2. Nuts and seeds

If you are vegetarian / vegan and cannot eat fish, then you will be pleased to know that walnuts, chia, flax and hemp seeds are also really good sources of plant based Omega 3. Walnuts especially have a recognised mood boosting effect. One study measured participants depression scores and found they were 26% lower in people who ate 1/4 cup of walnuts a day. Eating that amount of walnuts (roughly a dozen halves) also lead to greater optimism, energy, hope and concentration. Pumpkin seeds are also a good source of tryptophan.

3. Meat, Poultry, Eggs Dairy AND SOY

All meat, regardless if it is red or white meat is an excellent source of complete proteins and amino acids, although the best sources are chicken and turkey.

Eggs are also a good source of folate and vitamin D, which may have links to our immune health. Folate can also be found in legumes such as beans or chickpeas, as well as nuts and seeds.

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What is folate? Folate is a very clever B9 vitamin who’s job is to help regenerate cells and tissue. Low levels of folate have been linked to increased risk of depression and poor response to antidepressant treatment

4. Vegetables

Of course I’m going to tell you at some point to eat your greens. Vegetables, especially dark leafy greens such as cabbage, spinach and broccoli, are packed full of nutrients and folate. They are also full of antioxidants.

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Why are antioxidants good? Oxidisation of cells in the body, splits them at an atomic level. These atoms have unpaired electrons and zoom around the body looking for another atom to pair up with. Think of it like a pair of magnets stuck together, and then the Oxygen comes in like the flat mate they swear they are just friends with and splits them up leaving one magnet looking desperately for love, and not caring what they wreck in the process. These are what you may have heard referred to as free radicals. They are natural and normal, but like everything, in moderation. If there are two many of them, our body can’t keep up and they can cause diseases and have even been attributed to some cancers. When this happens, the body is in oxidative stress which has also been linked to depression and anxiety.

5. Fruits

A healthy mix of fruits is essential for your diet, but berries are your best choice when choosing mood foods. All berries are some of the most antioxidant rich foods that exist, so much so in blueberries, they are considered a depression food.

Avocado is also great for you, and they are not just for millennials. They are full of healthy fats, folate and also rich in amino acids helping all that good stuff get to where it needs to be.

Keep in mind that any change to your diet in the right direction is going to help you to feel better, you don’t need to become Gillian McKeith overnight to get the benefits, but the more you can eliminate the less helpful foods and eat more of the good stuff, the better you will feel. The catch 22 is, if you are feeling depressed you may not feel worth spending the time and energy to buy and make these foods, but there are really quick, simple and cheap solutions available on line. If you know someone who is depressed, why not make a large batch of something yummy you can take round to a friend (and leave, please don’t put pressure). Something easy to reheat or eat cold they can just grab – Such as a crust-less quiche using yogurt instead of cream and packed full of chicken, red peppers and spinach.

If you would like this quiche recipe, please email me ( and put “Brain Quiche” in the subject.

Please keep in mind, no specific food is a treatment for anxiety or depression, and these recommendations are NOT a substitute for medical or psychiatric advice. Please consult with your physician or mental health professional before making lifestyle changes, especially any changes that involve medication.


Why your depressed and what you can do about it – Part 1Why your depressed and what you can do about it – Part 1

You have stopped yelling or getting mad at all at the family. The kids aren’t driving you crazy, you feel crazy already. You can’t be bothered to cook so you think about ordering yet another takeaway. Your children depend on you, you have a job to do, a partner to care for and a home to keep up. You don’t have time to be depressed.

Recent research conducted by the mental health charity Mind has found that 1 in every 4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in any given year. 

A recent study also found that women are more likely to experience mental health difficulties than men. Their research found that 1 in 5 women have reported symptoms of common mental health disorders, whereas 1 in 8 men have done the same.*

The past 12 months has been nothing like an ordinary year, and although no data is available, it would be fair to assume these figures have been turned on their head.

So what causes depression? Why is it affecting women more than men? What can you do to guard yourself against depression or cure yourself if ‘the black dog’ surfaces?

In this video Marisa Peer teaches us that depression has three main causes:

  • Harsh, hurtful things we say to ourselves
  • Not following our hearts desire
  • Being disconnected from society.

I have written an earlier post regarding the impact of the hurtful, harsh criticism we give ourselves, with advice on how to dialogue with yourself better. If you haven’t read it already, I urge you to here.

Not following our hearts desire, having those deep regrets in our lives that follow us to our death bed, these are the things we do to ourselves, for whatever reason, that cause us to be depressed.

“I would have gone to medical school if I hadn’t had children, I still wish I was a doctor”

“I loved acting, but as soon as I picked my GCSE’s my parents told me it was silly”

“I love animals, I would love a dog if my partner wasn’t allergic”

I’m not going to tell you to get a divorce if you love dogs and your partner doesn’t, but you could volunteer to walk other peoples dogs, or at an animal sanctuary.

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You may not be able to get a medical degree, but could you do something else to help people?

There are lots of ways to incorporate your passion into your life (I always wanted to help people such as teach or be a social worker or counsellor, so here I am at 32 training to become a hypnotherapist, sharing my knowledge with you, wonderful reader).

The final cause of depression, Being disconnected from people, is something that has impacted us all. Our need for society, to contribute, to have human connection, is something we have felt so keenly over the last 12 months. We long for physical contact, to get back to our jobs, to feel valuable. Mother’s like myself, who love their children and understand completely they contribute (and boy do we contribute), have had other parts of who we are and how we define ourselves severed completely. Loneliness is a killer, we knew this before but now it feels even more relevant. But there is hope!

Some of our sense of connection comes from social media; but rather than spending 45 minutes browsing groups, why not check if any of your friends are online and have a quick catch up. Make a cuppa and have a video call. Even if you don’t talk much because it doesn’t feel there is anything to say, just sharing that space for 5 minutes and knowing you are not alone can mean the world to you both.

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Do you know someone who is shielding, could you run errands for them. Even a quick hello (at least a meter apart with a mask on), knowing you have helped make someone’s life easier and better can make all the difference to your mental health. If your passion is animals, you could walk someone’s dog if they are unable to get out themselves at the moment, any small act that creates or enhances our sense of community is going to do wonders for your mental health and those around you. Even knowing that you are helping your community every time you wash your hands, every time you create space and each and every time you cover your face, you are contributing to your community and the health of everyone.

Depression is a very real issue that is being overshadowed by the Coronavirus pandemic, it is affecting each and every one of us. If you feel you need extra help, please reach out for help; Call your GP or book an appointment with an RTT hypnotherapist.

Next week, I’ll be coving other ways we can help prevent depression through what we eat and how we nourish our bodies.

*From <>


Why we procrastinate and how to get moving againWhy we procrastinate and how to get moving again

The chances are, while reading this, you are putting something off right now. We all procrastinate, we put off the difficult or unpleasant tasks until a time we feel we will be more prepared, sometimes though we just don’t know why we can’t seem to get a task done. Here I am going to share with you why that is, and what you can do about it to find motivation right now.

This week, I had a phenominal Hypnotherapy session with a lady who wanted to stop procrastinating. Using RTT to get to the root of her issues and distil her beliefs, ridding everything that was unhelpful and adding new beliefs to help her achieve her goals in life, I learnt something about myself and how I procrastinate too.

This session was so informative for me as well as my client, and some of what was revealed to me is outlined below.

We don’t only procrastinate when it comes to putting off icky like tax returns. There are many reason’s we may not do something important, and sometimes we are affected by more than one of these things at the same time.

For those tasks, understanding how the mind works can easily help you find the motivation to complete it. Did you know, the most successful people in life do the things they hate, FIRST. Getting the unpleasant tasks out of the way at the beginning of the day sets you up for success. You no longer have the thing hanging over your head, you are filled with a sense of achievement that will motivate you throughout the day.

How you perceive the thing is also important, if you are telling yourself, “I have to do my taxes, they are so hard and I hate the paperwork”, your mind, who’s job it is to move you away from pain and towards pleasure, will immediately start working on ways to avoid the pain of doing your tax return.

Just don’t let the Mother-in-Law know you scheduled the zoom call at 8am to get it out of the way!

Another reason we can put off jobs is fear. You are asking yourself, what if I fail? what if I can’t do it? what if I’m not good enough? And you have lots of images in your mind of exactly what would happen in those scenarios. Again, you are telling your mind that doing the thing is going to cause you harm, or has a high likelihood of doing so. Your mind doesn’t care that this is completely untrue, or the chances are four-billion to 1, it believes everything you tell it. You have told it the thing will cause you pain, so it makes sure you have no motivation or inclination to do it, clever hey?

The last reason, is also fear. But this time, it’s a fear of success. That sounds crazy doesn’t it, but the idea of being singled out could terrify someone who was bullied as a child. The idea that money corrupts and that those with money are evil, are going to subconsciously behave in a way that keeps them from having an abundance. The fear of leaving our oldest friends behind as we move forward with our lives. This fear of success and having ‘money blocks’ is holding many of us entrepreneurs back from even taking that first step, let alone the next.

Again, the mind is trying to be our best friend and the best PA, understanding that subconsciously, these thoughts are saying, “I don’t want that”, and doing it’s best to help us avoid it.

If you re-frame these thoughts into a choice, then your mind is less likely to react and help you to stay focused. “I am choosing to do my taxes early, and feel great about knowing they are out of the way for the rest of the day.”

By improving the words and pictures we give ourselves, we can radically change how we feel about things, including how motivated we are. If you feel you have a specific block to moving forward or a fear that is holding you back, you may find that getting to the root and distilling your beliefs is something you wish to try under hypnosis. If procrastination is something you want to work on with yourself, please reach out.

I am currently looking into building a mailing list with useful tips on how you can help yourself improve your levels of motivation. If you would like to be on this list, please drop me an email at


How to do Valentines in LockdownHow to do Valentines in Lockdown

For the last year we have spent almost every waking moment together. Every evening we eat together, put our children to bed together and sit on the sofa together. With Valentines Day approaching fast, I have been racking my brain to find ways to make the evening special, when all of the usual ways we would celebrate are not available to us.

Even if you have not been able to be with your partner during lockdown, and are facing a Valentines spent on webchat, please read on as these ideas are perfect for you too.

I have spent hours, pawing over Pinterest, looking at recipes and Etsy shops only to realise that with us both home 23 hours a day that I was going to have to up my game, at the same time feeling stressed, exhausted and having nothing to wear! I know I’m not alone in this situation, so I have created this Lockdown Valentines List to make your night wonderful and a little out of the ordinary ‘Netflix and Chill’ but as easy as possible.

The Card:

MAKE YOUR PARTNER A CARD. I cannot stress enough how important this is. I don’t care if you think you can’t draw or you suck at art, and neither does your partner. It is all about time and effort to make something small for the person you love.

 If you still find this a scary concept or have no idea where to start, I have found so many ideas perfect for everyone, from novices through to the craftiest of us. You can see all my card making pins here.

The Gift

Since Lockdown, you haven’t been able to purchase a new pair of shoes or  bike part without your partner knowing everything about it, the idea of not just buying but wrapping a gift for my husband is sending me into a spin. This year, we have decided to get a joint gift.

Of course, the most important gift we can give each other is our time, so put down the devices (unless you are communicating on them) and give your partner the very best of you.

It’s all in the preparation

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Have a long shower or a bath, make sure you are feeling your best. Get dressed up as if you were going out together and make the effort. Even though you may not be going much further than the dining room, getting dressed up tells your mind it is going to be a special evening and you are more naturally inclined to behave as though you are on a date.

The Meal:

Rather than eating with the family (5pm and a battle over vegetables in our home), Order takeaway or an oven-ready meal for yourselves. You have just cooked and washed up after your tiny humans, the last thing you want is to have to do that again, not to mention that you don’t want to spend your date in the kitchen.

Yes, a wonderful meal was important in 2019, but half the country can’t even taste their food right now; spend the evening together.

You can make it special by laying a table cloth, serving the meal on plates (even if it’s McDonalds). And if you are doing this via webchat, order your meals ahead for the same time and find a restaurant background for your chat. Source pictures from your favourite restaurants website or you could set out an indoor picnic or day at a theme park.

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The most important thing is, unless you require your technology to communicate at this time, everything should be put down. COMMUNICATE and BE PRESENT with your partner, even if you do nothing else in this list, be together, not just inhabit the same space.

The Evening

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Take these ideas as far as you feel comfortable with and remember the most important thing is you are making time to communicate with your partner and mindfully be with them.

I’m almost certain over the last few months, you have watched every movie there is together so please don’t spend yet another night on the sofa, at least, not in front of a film.

If you are spending your Valentines date on webchat, then my favourite idea is to check out some of the games available either through your webchat provider, or via a third party such as JackBox. Or, if you both have a copy of the same game in the cupboard, why not go old school and play a board game together while you talk?

If you are together, then all the better. Get out the board games and find something to play together to keep you talking. Remember NO PHONES.

Implement some forfeits into your game to bring you closer together, think ideas such as truth or dare, losing items of clothing or revealing a kinky fantasy.

If you can’t meet in person, then I’m sure you have already found some creative ways to feel connected. There are also some toys you can play with over the internet so you and your partner can have the control to each others sensations.

Aromatherapy massage

Photo by cottonbro on

Massage oils are relatively easy to come by on line, this one is my favourite, but you can find what works for you.

There are loads of tutorials on YouTube, pick one that resonates with you and remember to have fun.

If you don’t feel very confident, even with no experience, just lightly gliding your hands over your partners body will bring you closer together and feel amazing. Remember this isn’t a serious, solemn experience, talk and laugh with your partner while your touch them….A word of warning though about getting carried away – switch to a good water based lubricant before moving anywhere sensitive.

Talking of anywhere sensitive, if the plan is to get carried away, why not try something more mindful than your usual play time.

Yoni massage – How To Give A Yoni Massage: A 12 Step Guide To Make It Life-Changing (

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Lingham massage – How to Give an Out-Of-This-World Lingam Massage (

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Some of these ideas may not be new to you, some of them may even seem a little shocking, but being in love is about having fun. That is if you have been together a few months, or married for years. Make Valentines 2021 about fun and togetherness and that feeling will stay with you, and help carry you both into the spring with smiles on your faces.


5 Easy Steps to Survive Working from Home with Toddlers5 Easy Steps to Survive Working from Home with Toddlers

Hey you, hiding from your children again while you scroll the internet trying to have 2 uninterrupted minutes peace. I’ve been there. I understand.

As I start this, my 18 month old daughter is trying to stick a drumstick down her throat and my 3 year old son is having yet another hour of technology time! All my friends are complaining about home-schooling their capable children while I am trying to stop mine climbing over the furniture, wiping bums and cleaning accidents all while trying to do the day job, study, write to you wonderful people, keep my home from becoming a petri dish and try to be some kind of wife. And Instagram says I should be baking bread and going for runs.

I am managing though, I’m not saying the water is calm and the boat is solid, but it is moving in the right direction. Some days are slower than others, some days I feel all I’m doing is bailing out water trying frantically not to sink, but progress is being made and I’m going to share with you how I am doing it and hopefully you can share some of your experience and tips with me.

  1. Join or (in my case) Re-Join the 5am club.

I know it sounds silly but my children’s day starts at 7am. Getting up at 5 gives me the time I need to frame my mindset for the day. What ever is your best and favourite morning routine that makes you feel your best, get up before the children and do it. Then when they wake up, you will be ready to deal with the sodden bed sheets, exploding nappy or what ever fresh way to disgust you, your children can come up with.

For me, this means having a massive, strong coffee; meditate, write in my gratitude journal, A little yoga and a hot, undisturbed shower.

  1. Plan a routine.

In my family we have a weekly white board. We have a family meeting each Sunday and put on anything from the phone calendars, any live training I have etc. on the schedule (with pictures) so that everyone is aware of what is happening. I also include on this routine our housework times, work times, a craft activity each week that we can do as a family, screen time and 1:1 play time.

This routine isn’t particularly rigid, but it gives everyone an idea of how the days will go. That predictability is wonderful for the children, but also very helpful for us adults.

  1. 1:1 play time.

Children thrive on our attention, whether that attention is from playing with them or yelling at them, they need it. Ensuring that at least once a day (preferably twice) you have that time dedicated to just you and one child gives them what they need to let you get on with what you need to do so much easier.

I have 10 minutes set aside for each of my children in the morning and again in the afternoon. My 3 yr old, picks his own activity (within my parameters)  and I go along with it, being in his world for that time. Being available, asking questions and answering any that he has. For my 18 month old, the morning one is an educational toy that we can explore together. The afternoon one, I will be honest, is me putting her down for her nap, with songs and cuddles.

You will find a way to incorporate this play time in your own way, a way that works for you and your family. If you have a large family it may be that they only get this once, or even every other day.

When the children have had this attention from you, or know that it is coming and can see when on the routine, they are more accepting when you have to work. It also helps rid you of the parent guilt, it’s okay to say “No” now, because you know they have had time with you or will be getting it soon.

  1. Stop being so hard on yourself.

If you haven’t noticed, we are in unprecedented times and things are stressful, scary and isolating. We can’t go to the soft play and let them burn off all that energy. We can’t go to the park or grab a glass of wine with our friends to just have a break from the children. If parenting were subject to the same regulations as any other job, it would be declared against our human rights, and that’s when we can have a break from them.

So what if nothing went to plan. Who cares if the children are eating chicken nuggets for the 3rd time this week. My children have full bellies every night, they are clean, safe and happy. My work is done to a level I am happy with and my home may not win any cleanliness awards, but no one is going to get E-Coli.

Yes, when things were ‘normal’, it was a different story (with many more vegetables and much higher standards), but things are not ‘normal’ so why do we have these high expectations that we can maintain ‘normal’ in our homes?

When we set these unachievable standards for ourselves and our homes, we embark on a journey that is only going to get harder. They just aren’t attainable anymore, but rather than adjust the goal, it’s all too easy to start to see ourselves as the failure, in any or all aspects of our lives. Eventually we stop doing anything at all above the strictly necessary to preserve our tiny humans and risk falling into depression.

Look at the goals you have set and ask yourself, with the extra time to change bums, wet bedsheets and make 422 snacks a day – do you actually have time, physical energy and emotional energy to achieve all of them. What is essential? Is there anything you could do differently?

  1. And above all remember….

YOU ARE ENOUGH. In all actuality, you are amazing. If your children have clean clothes, clean bums and full bellies you are rocking it. You are a phenominal parent. Lose your shit, cry in the cupboard (or eat chocolate bars) and finish your evening with a large G&T; you are still awesome. Whatever stresses and worries you have, you really are doing a great job and there is no one your children would rather be stuck in a house with.

You show up every day. You love them unconditionally and they love you whether the house is spotless or not. You really are doing an amazing job.

If you have any other ways to cope with parenting children of any age during lockdown, please do share and lets support each other through these difficult times.


What were you thinking?What were you thinking?

You stupid idiot, I can’t believe you did that? What did you do that for, twat? You should’ve known better, idiot?

They aren’t nice things to say to someone are they? But these aren’t things someone said to me, these are the phrases I said to myself, multiple times a day for 20 years. Sometimes I said them jokingly, sometimes I screamed them inside my head. I’m a peaceful person and have never really gone for violence, but woe betide the person who ever speaks to my husband or children like that.

So why do we think it is okay to bully ourselves like this? We know there are enough people outside our heads to do that for us, but still we continue to use hurtful, shameful, bullying language toward ourselves every day.

Just like a child who is bullied externally, these hurtful words wear us down. We say them so often we start to believe them because our minds don’t know care if what we tell it is true, false, helpful or unkind, it just lets it in. We repeat them over and over when even the slightest thing goes wrong until it is the loudest voice in our heads, the nagging self-doubt that says we can’t do that, we are useless.

As I mentioned, I spent 20 years tearing myself down. I never reached for anything outside of my comfort zone. When I started implementing the techniques below to change how I talk to myself, I changed my life – I never thought I would be able to practice therapy or start a blog but here I am and I can show you how to change how you feel about yourself by just changing the words you tell yourself everyday.

"You are Smart" compliment
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Today is National Compliments Day for my American cousins, and what more amazing way is there to celebrate, than starting the habit of complimenting ourselves every day. Us English as a rule could definitely use some more practice accepting compliments and the more you give and accept compliments with yourself, the more you will find you are giving and accepting compliments of those around you.

No one is going to stand on the side-lines of your life in a skimpy dress cheering your name for you (and would you want that when you are putting on your socks…..yay, go you!). But we can do this for ourselves. We can be our own cheerleaders.

When you make a mistake, catch yourself telling yourself off like some evil dictator and think, “if my best friend had done that, what would I say to them?” Show yourself some compassion when things don’t go to plan and soon you will find it easier. It will feel strange at first, but every time you notice yourself being unkind, stop, apologise, and reframe what you were saying into something you wouldn’t be ashamed to say out loud. The more you practice compassion towards yourself, the more you will feel compassion for those around you. You will have greater self-esteem and self-worth.

Now put on some Fat Boy Slim and go and Praise you like you should!


2 Simple Steps to ditch your fear FOR GOOD today2 Simple Steps to ditch your fear FOR GOOD today

Who will look after your children if you get CoVid19? Who will do your parent’s shopping if you are too ill to get out of bed? Who will run your business if you are unable to?

With the increasing availability of vaccines to protect us against the Coronavirus, it is becoming more likely that you will soon be offered a vaccine, but what if you are too afraid of the needle to protect yourself and your family?

glass vial containing coVid vaccine
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There are times your fear or phobia of needles as held you back. You have been conflicted, racked with guilt, knowing that you want what is in that little glass vial but unable to have it. You have tried everything but you just can’t do it.

I’m going to tell you, you probably haven’t tried everything and you absolutely can.

Our mind responds to the images we create, the more powerful and “real” those images, the more power they have over us and the more real they seem.

The risks and benefits to the vaccines against CoVid19 are easy to find and you have probably already researched them, trying to reason your way to having the vaccine with logic, so I’m not going to cover those here, but if you have decided the vaccine is for you, if you have people who depend on you, if you still can’t imagine being able to feel indifferent towards that needle then These 2 simple steps are for you:

  1. Think about and write down the words you use when you talk about vaccines or needles.

You may have come up with words similar to those below.

  • Petrified
  • Terrified
  • Anxious

Now cross them out and change it to the words, “I’m not a fan of needles”. This may feel silly or that I don’t truly understand how deep this runs for you- trust me, I do. But by taking away all the power and emotion from the words you say, you are diminishing the phobia, every time you change the words, you are taking away it’s power over you.

  1. Now think about the feelings you feel when you are gripped by fear before an injection. The tightness in your chest, the shortness of breath, the energy vibrating through you telling you to run or freeze, all the tell-tale signs of anxiety.

Now rather than a needle, think about the last time you were truly excited. Were you on a rollercoaster? Were you getting married? Really think about how your body felt in that moment. Your heart beating in your chest, breathing heavy with anticipation and your body vibrating with energy – notice anything?

Your body reacts in exactly the same way whether you are excited or terrified. Your brain doesn’t even know the difference, in fact, the only difference is the images you assign to the feeling.

So you need to lie to your mind. Tell your mind you are excited about all the benefits. It doesn’t care if you actually believe this yourself right now, it is letting it in, absorbing it like a sponge and making tiny changes every time you decide to give your feelings this new narrative. Lie, cheat and steal your power back.

The easiest way to access our subconscious mind is through music. So put your party anthem on, you know the one, the one that brings you joy and strength. Remind yourself that although you may not be a fan of needles, you are so excited about the result. You will soon be drinking tea with friends, taking your children back to the park and partying like the Rockstar you know you are!

Photo by Belle Co on

And of course, if you need more support you can book yourself an RTT Session.

Although not an RTT therapist, the wonderful Roz Knox is a respected and trusted hypnotherapist and has this amazingly generous offer for all front line key workers. Check out her amazing, FREE offer here


Why Your New Year’s Resolution has already failed and how to get back on Track.Why Your New Year’s Resolution has already failed and how to get back on Track.

So we have survived the first week of 2021, has your New Year’s Resolution survived too?

Probably not. In the face of so many challenges, who can blame you! but did you give yourself any chance to succeed in the first place?

The thing with New Year’s Resolutions, is we tend to make wishy-washy goals that we know we should do but that don’t excite us in any way such as “Eat more healthily”, or “get fitter”.

Think about it. Could you ever tick that off as complete? Can you assign a real, tangible picture to it in your mind? The chances are you can’t.

I have been guilty of this very thing year after year, making promises to myself that I couldn’t achieve, based on the logic of being fitter or healthier or whatever, feeling deep down that this was a chore – not being able to eat cake, not having my lie ins and having to drag myself up to exercise … all negative, all feeling like effort and work.

If you don’t want to get up at 5am to go for a run, if you check the weather at night and see it’s going to be dark and cold and are dreading your alarm going off in the morning, guess what, you aren’t getting up for that run. Your mind is actively preventing you from doing this because it’s job is to move you away from pain i.e. Running in the cold, dark morning, and towards pleasure such as your cosy bed. You are telling yourself you need to run, at the same time as you are telling yourself how much you don’t want to. The positive emotions of being in your warm, cosy bed will always win over the logic of needing to be fitter.

As an RTT student, I help myself and others change those emotions so our mind is working for us, we need to find a way to change the picture. Slimming groups used to recommend you put a picture of yourself at your biggest on your fridge. The idea being that, rather than thinking of how much you will enjoy the chocolate bar in the fridge, you see the results of eating too many chocolate bars and that image dissuades you. Please don’t do this by the way, negative conditioning like this is terrible and only creates more guilt and shame for a lot of us and then leads to more comfort eating.

Rather than a cautionary tale, We need to create an idealised version to aspire to that really speaks to us, our happy thought. For some that might be a picture of the finish line of the London Marathon, A designer dress they would like to fit into or getting a qualification. For others, it could be having the energy to play with their child in the park for half an hour without having to stop for a rest. It doesn’t matter how big or small the aspiration is, all that matters is it speaks to us on a personal level, we can see it, we can hear it and we can feel it.

So knowing this, how do we set make that perfect image a goal? We make it SMART

No they don’t need to be written in Shakespearian English – They need to be:




Realistic and

Time managed.

So to use the example of “eat more healthily”, this could look something like “To eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day” or someone wanting to improve their fitness could say, I want to be able to run 5K by the end of May. Now this is giving a very specific target and at the end of the period of time you have set, a clear answer to if you have met that goal.

One of my goals this year is to write this blog every week, so I can share my learning with you and I know that is something I am definitely going to achieve.

Now you have a fantastic goal, reaching it is just like getting to Neverland, all you need is a little fairy dust (a SMART goal) and YOUR happy thought.


Why I started a BlogWhy I started a Blog

So What, I’m going to become a Rapid Transformational Therapist, why should you care or even read this, it’s not even like I’m fully qualified yet?

I have learnt not only how my mind works, but how YOUR Mind works. I have created this blog to share with you a few of the lessons I have learnt along the way.

I have completed and passed all my written and theory learning and am at present working towards my practical assessment. This puts me in the position that I have gained an amazing wealth of topics with no one to share that with. I want to start helping you today with issues such as:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Sleep problems / Insomnia
  • Weight Management
  • Performance blocks

To be honest, over the coming weeks and months I aim to cover a wealth of topics to enrich your life and help you overcome the obstacles holding you back, and when I qualify you will be in the best place to hear the good news and take advantage of some amazing offers.